Sometimes You Just Need to Tip Your Cap
Early on in my career I would take losing very, very hard. I can remember working for Field Facts in the 80’s and not being awarded projects and how disappointed I would be—in fact most times I was really mad! There were times that I thought I sent a great proposal to a client and for some reason we weren’t awarded the project. Common reasons projects weren’t awarded:
- The client decided to go in another direction
- They felt the competition’s level of experience was better than ours
- Perhaps they connected with the other company better than with us
- The winning company had a better price
In essence the client said thanks but no thanks.
Life has changed for me. Perhaps it was experience, maturity or just luck that I decided to really understand and learn from coming in second, so frankly, it wouldn’t happen again.
But there are a few things that I would NEVER do when I have come in second:
- Never bash the competition
- Never tell clients they made a mistake by going with another company
These days I will write a note or send an email to the client, wish them luck and always follow up in a few months to see how the project is going. Clients always seem to appreciate that gesture.
Anyone who meets me for 5 seconds knows that I have a strong Boston accent. They can look at my license plate, my right wrist or come into my office and see who my favorite team has been for years. I am clearly passionate about the Boston Red Sox.
The past five days have been very challenging for me. The good news is that I got calls and emails from people I haven’t spoken to in a few months. The bad news is it was about the Red Sox who decided to do something that hadn’t been done since 1943! They lost five games in a series to the Yankees – oh by the way it was in Fenway Park. As I write this, the last game ended less than 18 hours ago and the losses still sting.
I won’t go over all of the statistics—which are very impressive if you are a Yankees fan. The NY Yankees were the better team. They did all of the little things right: They were able to kick it into another gear when they needed to, Joe Torre made the right moves when his back was against the wall… I could go on and on but I won’t.
I just hope the Boston Red Sox learn from what happened this past week—as I have done in the past—and try to salvage the 2006 season.
This morning – I tip my hat to the NY Yankees team and Fans. Congratulations! You were the better team!
August 22nd, 2006 at 11:21 am
After all these years it is so nice to see that you have matured enough to accept the realities of life, at least in the world of our great American past time. GO YANKEES!!
Seriously, when I was growing up and there was no such thing as television we listened to baseball on the radio. I vividly remember the Yankees and Red Sox games. No matter how far ahead in the standings the Yankees were, which was usually the case, the games were ALWAYS close and exciting.
I have forgotten the name of the anouncer, but he kept me on the edge of the bed with his dramatization of the play-by-play action. Great memories!
August 22nd, 2006 at 11:32 am
Yep, I’ve leaned to respect the Yankees and that not all Yankee fans are really that bad.
I sleep next to one every night… She calls me ‘Jeter’ sometimes (in her dreams).
August 22nd, 2006 at 12:23 pm
Slaughtering the Red Sox is heart-warming indeed. But it’s a short-lived pleasure as the next game or series seems always to be around the next corner. In their history, the win-loss record is virtually even. So it’s not about a game or even a particular set of games that I wish to address, but rather the legacy and what it means to play for and support the Yankees.
The Yankees are simply put, the best pro sports team in (American) history. The most victories and championships than any other franchise. So you may think its easy to cheer them on. But what happens when they lose, such as in 2004? How do you explain the feeling to a non-Yankee fan that we were *supposed* to win? I think losing hurts a lot more when you expect to win. And still, I wouldn’t trade it for what I can only guess it feels like to root for the Sox:
Red Sox fans expect to lose; not every day, but the big, important games. So coming in second to the Yanks is anticipated. “We’ll get them next year!” So maybe that’s why Merrill can be so gracious that my guys kicked his guys. In a way it’s safer - less painful to root for the Red Sox. But I have to admit the highs are certainly a lot higher - when the Sox won in 2004, Boston shut down, Merrill practically passed out from sheer delight, and many a child was conceived in Massachusetts that night!
Now here’s the point: I believe that playing for (or vicariously rooting for) a great team (and the Sox qualify as great too) makes you somehow better. Were Clemens, Boggs, or Ruth better players as Yankees? Possibly. Because they knew they were playing for the best and had to live up to that. Now sometimes the pressure is too much (see A-Rod, Soriano, etc.), but when you play (or work) for a great team you WANT to be Great too. You set your expectations higher.
So.. as a business leader you want to make your team great - yes you may have a bad game or a bad series - but in the long run - greatness tends to attract greatness and even in the defeats (painful as they are) you learn and grow and get even greater!
August 22nd, 2006 at 12:27 pm
P.S. Who is “Uncle J”? You have 2 Yankees fan friends?? If they find out they may not ever let you back in Bean Town. In case Uncle J is like 90, he may not know he can get all the games on his computer (Audio) for $14.99 and feel like a kid again! (Yankees.com)
August 22nd, 2006 at 1:00 pm
Merrill,
Appreciate the humility. Listen to some Frank Sinatra on the way home - that New York New York tune really has a catchy beat to it, wouldn’t you agree?
Admittedly, you’re more fun when you are combative. I suspect your edge may return if/when the Bosox do. The Bosox never give up, and that’s what we Yankee fans love about the rivalry. Great for the game.
Good luck in the wild card race.
August 22nd, 2006 at 5:26 pm
Just read all your blogs. Good stuff. I didn’t know you could read. (smile) And it’s even more interesting to find out you can write. (Sincere). It certainly is nice to read your thoughts and insights.. I’m hoping that I will be able to start finding that 900 you were talking about.
I liked your sports blog. It’s true that a great fan of sports who has a passion for a team can learn from the tough defeats and when you team does win it all (this reflects back on everything in life as well) you can appreciate it even more. Years of almosts made the Rams Super Bowl win an incredible experience for me. I’m sure it was the same for you with your Sox. But, I find it also very important to want the competition to be strong. The Rams won by a half a yard. The Sox were down 3-0 to the Yankees before sweeping the rest of the way. These are perfect scenarios because you need a strong villain for your heroes to truly shine. I’m enjoying the Mets year this season but it’s such a runaway, that it’s not as exciting. I want the Braves or Phillies at their best and I want my team to rise above to win it. We would never want the Yankees to completely suck like they did in the 70’s because they are the ultimate bullies. A 200 million roster full of MVPs and Cy Young Award Winners. Beating those SOBS is SWEET!
Talk to you soon.
KW
August 22nd, 2006 at 7:52 pm
Merrill:
I’ve purposely let you cool down before addressing the series. I think you’ll acknowledge that this Yankee fan is the last to gloat and the first to offer up congrats to you, when the RedSox get the Yankees number. So, hats off to what I know was a painful blog entry for you to write. The season is far from over. You proved that two years ago in the ALCS, and I learned it as a Houston Oilers/Tennessee Titans fan on an excruciating New Years day wild card game at the hands of Frank Reich and the Buffalo Bills, some 15 years ago.
But that said, I think that there may be a couple of other factors at work behind this past weekend’s “Boston Massacre II”. Firstly, the series was played opposite our annual baseball weekend IV, at which your attendance was greatly missed. No 105 degree wiffle ball games this year.
However, I still think that the major reason why the Yankees took it to your Sox this weekend, is because you now possess a piece of the Yankees’ season. You need to get rid of that ball that Cano threw you at the Stadium on Tuesday night. It’s cursed!
August 23rd, 2006 at 4:35 am
It is tough enough to face defeat and even tougher to face a true massacre. Sitting at the beach yesterday, we were just talking about how many times the Bill Buckner blunder is replayed over and over again. Think how this guy feels - a very successful career defined by one human error in front of millions of people and played over for more to see. We don’t spend enough time teaching our children how to face adversity in the many parts of life. We also spend a lot of time emphasing the importance of winning and less on the importance of playing - not always the best message. Afterall, if they see the embarassment of Bill Buckner over and over again, will they be willing to take the field. Humility is an important character trait and I am glad the transplanted Texan who hosts this blog has that as part of his fabric.
Until next year for you Sox fans or should I say maybe next century - GO METS!
August 23rd, 2006 at 10:52 am
Send that Cano ball to Jeffrey Lorber right away or the Red Sox will never ever beat the Yankees again!
August 24th, 2006 at 7:31 pm
What can I write? As a baseball fan I’m sad for the Sox. The series just clearly highlighted the two different directions that both teams are headed in…and it was not pretty! Wow…who would have ever predicted such a lopsided series?
However, as a Yanks fan…I’m shocked, thrilled and I truly believe Boston may not even make it in as a wildcard team. I predicted before a pitch was thrown, that whichever team won this series would go on to win the division. Of course, I was hoping for 3-2 series edge type of thing. I believe Boston is an emotionally defeated team. I hear the fat lady warming up…this is not the miracle team of two years ago.
You are a good sport. That Cano ball may be cursed…I like curses…
August 25th, 2006 at 8:01 am
Sport is not an overworn cliche’ for the model of life. We are by nature competitive and losing is never comforting. I went to the University of Arkansas and grew up a Razorback fan. We had some classic games against the University of Texas in the old Southwest Conference, and played in one of the “games of the century” in 1969, with Richard Nixon and Billy Graham in attendance. However, we rarely beat the Longhorns and I recall walking out of a game in Austin, only to find my car painted orange. I hate orange, but in the quiet moments of the early morning, I must admit, that UT is an exceptional institution and often had that little extra confidence that the Hogs lacked.
The same is true in business - often times the competitor is better, but we should never let a prospect get the feeling that we are playing not to lose. UT could tell when the Hogs were playing not to lose, and killed us.
Merrill, except for that one magical season, the same thing happens to the Red Sox. Fortunately, your business success does not parrellel the history of our beloved Sox and Hogs.
August 25th, 2006 at 8:48 am
I fully appreciate your frustration at the hands of the Yankees with your Red Sox. Being from Chicago and growing up on the southside my White Sox have also been smitten by the Yankees, especially in the 50’s. But your comment about “tipping your cap” is well taken. Yankees deserved the series by the way they outplayed the Sox. Given the lack of Boston’s veteran catcher to handle the pitching I was not surprised by the outcome.
I can also relate to your anology with selling research (as you know) that the best approach is really relative to the buyer’s disposition “in the moment”. Just as Boston’s collapse last week, it is only momentary and just remember that the Tigers, currently the best team in baseball, were 10.5 games ahead of my Sox and even after taking the first two games in Detroit, the White Sox came back to 5.5 games behind. Pitching will determine the eventual AL Champion.
So, as in the research business, everything is based in the end on your “pitching” the right idea at the right time to get the win.
Good Luck
P.S. Any bets on who will be pitching in the World Series?
August 25th, 2006 at 8:48 am
As far as the business lessons of rooting for a great team, I think that my fellow UMASS Alum, the great Jack Welch put it best when he said: “When you love the Red Sox like I do, you learn how to lose and get up and fight another day.”
August 28th, 2006 at 3:17 pm
What can I say that you would believe. That as a Yankee fan, I know how you feel - NOT! Or, cheer up, your day will come - it came and went - oops, how many years until the next time? I know - I’m being cruel. All kidding aside, I spent Friday night with your Boston Pops and Keith, their wonderful conductor. Now, there is a team worth rooting for. Switch to the Arts - believe me it’s so much more uplifting!
August 29th, 2006 at 3:10 pm
I almost posted a reply the very first day this blog was posted. There were no replies posted yet at that time. The fact that the man is my boss may be a small part of the reason why I waited until now. However, knowing what a great sport Merrill is, I doubt it. In any case, I was ecstatic by the sweep of the Bosox that this blog is all about! I just have to say that it made me smile all over again to learn that you have people all over the place that also remind you of how great my Yankees are! I agree that you need to get rid of that Cano ball! …but, I think the faster, the better…and, I’m only 2 doors down! : )
September 19th, 2006 at 10:40 am
Well, it’s September 19 and the “never-say-die” Boston Red Sox valiantly took 3 out of 4 from the mighty Yankees last weekend, including sweeping a double-header on Sunday (in between games the Pats beat the Jets). Where are the tips of the cap now. Why are all the Yankee fans who chose to dump on Merrill when he was so gracious so silent? Are they too busy piling on that bandwagon (the one that broke down in 2004 after their team performed the biggest choke in the history of professional sports) to stop and give “the better team” that weekend their due?
(God, I love this rivalry!)