Think about it - Is Now the Time to Make that Call?
Usually I don’t write any of the blogs during the week; I tend to write them on Sunday. But today is different based on a few things that have happened recently.
One night I went to work out; it was around 8:00 PM. Let me define my workout. It consists of running/walking on the treadmill for about 35 minutes and saying good-bye to about 375 calories. I look forward to working out because besides burning off 100 or so more calories than the one coke I drink during the day, I can catch up on my reading, watch a little TV and frankly enjoy a little quiet time.
Six minutes into my workout I hear someone over my right shoulder say, “Is Tory Holt picked? What about Chad Johnson?”
At first, I thought he was talking to me, so I tried to bend my body like a pretzel to see if I could see him. No luck at all.
Then he says, “Okay. I will take Marvin Harrison.”
This went on for about another 30 minutes until I left. The 26 year old behind me was on the elliptical machine while he was on a call for his fantasy football draft.
In the past month these occurrences have all happened in my presence:
- While I was watching the movie Invincible, a person who was seated about five feet to my right answered her phone and spoke to someone for 4 minutes
- Two people in a NY elevator were on the phone at the same time—for the entire trip of 32 floors down to the lobby
- I have been in the restroom while someone was on the phone in a stall
- I have been having dinner at a very nice restaurant while someone was on the phone speaking very, very loudly
And my favorite from the last month:
- Someone was actually on the Hertz bus screaming at his administrative assistant for messing up his travel plans
I understand multi-tasking. In fact, part of our hiring criteria at M/A/R/C is to be a solid muli-tasker. I would consider myself a good multi-tasker.
I just believe there is a time and place for all of this “need to be available 24/7” and believe this is beyond out of control. Drew Barrymore in the movie Fever Pitch references a boyfriend she had who didn’t like how much she was on the phone and took her cell phone and tossed it away.
Everyone thinks they have an important job and I am NO different, but when I reviewed the last 10 calls I made, 6 could have waited. My sense is that most people are the same. I am all for taking a call in public if it is an emergency but calls like:
- What are you doing tonight?
- I can’t believe Rich didn’t call you!
- Sorry to hear you will miss the big game
These calls don’t sound like they qualify as emergencies in my book.
With unlimited cell phone usage, I believe things will get a lot worse before they get better.
“No cell phone” areas will pop up everywhere in the next year. To me that is a good thing.
There might be some who don’t understand what bugs me about all this.
- Am I bothered by an invasion of my privacy?
- Am I irritated because of my lost quiet time at the gym?
- Am I annoyed because I pay good money for an enjoyable dinner or night at the movies, only to have the experience ruined because of a lack of common courtesy?
- Am I upset at myself for sometimes doing the same thing?
Actually, it’s all of the above.
Am I the only one bothered by this? I look forward to your comments and stories.
September 25th, 2006 at 7:27 am
I applaud you for keeping your composure in the movie theater. That might have sent me over the edge.
September 25th, 2006 at 9:14 am
It is the rudeness of other people on their cell phone that bothers me the most. If I get a call in a restaurant that I decide to take I will walk outside and take the call. NEVER at my table. It’s just another sign of the “me” generation. There is hope, there is now Nano paint technology that might make it easier for locations to deal with cell phones. The following is from an article about one such company.
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Playing to the backlash against ubiquitous communication, a company called Natural Nano is developing a special high-tech paint that locks out unwanted cell phone signals on demand. Newsday reports.
“NaturalNano has found a way to use nanotechnology to blend particles of copper into paint that can be brushed onto walls and effectively deflect radio signals.
NaturalNano will combine this signal-blocking paint scheme with a radio-filtering device that collects phone signals from outside a shielded space, allowing certain transmissions to proceed while blocking others
It appears to be legal - jamming devices that emit radio signals to prevent cell phones are not - The radio filter would allow all emergency radio communications to pass through the shield With all other signals, like cell phones, the filter would act like a spigot to block or allow them to pass through—say, only during intermission.”
September 25th, 2006 at 9:16 am
I have to say this is one topic in particular I debate with myself over. I am a big offender when it comes to carrying my cell phone everywhere. I spend a great deal of time text messaging, emailing and making calls. Some are business, some are personal and many could wait until I’m in private. I find myself feeling such obligation to be responsive. On occassion, however, I intentionally leave my phone at home or in the car on weekends or evenings in an effort to escape it. It is liberating, but a part of me feels somewhat naked and the first thing I do when I get near my phone is to see how many missed calls there might have been. It is hard to believe we all lived without cell phones at one time. I do try to be respectful and I get just as frustrated by the types of interruptions mentioned in your blog. I am sure I have offended some in the past by my constant use of my phone, although most of my friends and colleagues are no less guilty. Ok, that may not be true since Janet Savoie once told me, “You’re worse than I am” when it came to using my phone for email, web, texting, etc…
I do feel that many are starting to take liberties when it comes to using their phones in restaurants, movies, etc… For a period of time, there was such an emphasis on the establishments behalf to stop people from doing such actions. It seems that it has since then become more of a social norm than it should be. Therefore, I do have a feeling that you’re right about it becoming worse before it gets better. Probably some stricter public usage laws will be passed at some point… Any way, I suggest if any of you feel too connected, leave your phone at home or simply turn it off more often. Believe it or not, the world keeps spinning.
September 25th, 2006 at 11:18 am
Grand slam Mr. Dubrow! If everyone who reads this posting and agrees with you, Robert, Paul and me, then I strongly urge that contact their Senator, Congressman and the FAA to continue the ban of cell phones during commercial airline flights. I have no problem with someone sitting nest to be quietly text messaging to their friends during a 4 hour cross country flight. I just do not what to be a part of their conversation and have it invade my privacy. We may not be able to “turn back the clock” on cell phones in theaters and restaurants, but we all can take a stand on allowing them on commerical flights.
September 26th, 2006 at 2:56 pm
Hi Merrill,
Thanks for another great post.
My .02 is that I’m actually uncomfortable speaking on my mobile phone if I’m not in able to give the person on the other end of the phone my undivided attention.
It’s disrespectful to the person on the other end of the phone as well as to the people around me.
-Kathh
September 27th, 2006 at 4:07 pm
Hi Merrill – Everyone seems to agree with you so I hesitate to post a dissenting view. But I think this could be a meaningful discussion, so here goes …
Are we being overly sensitive here? Why shouldn’t people be free to berate their admin asst while sitting in a Hertz bus? Sure it is an asinine thing to do, but in a free society people have an inalienable right to make fools of themselves. I am with you when it comes to expecting privacy in a white-cloth restaurant or a movie theater … after all we pay for that privilege. But to expect a public space (bus, gym, etc) to conform to our needs isn’t reasonable.
Why have we become this intolerant of the small inconveniences of life? Rude and insensitive people aren’t a late 20th century phenomenon … they’ve always been around. Somehow our earlier generations seemed to cope with it better than we do. So, what has changed? Has technology eliminated the space that used to act as a natural buffer between individuals? Or do we have thinner skin because we live our lives at such max speeds that even minor distractions tend to cause severe turbulence in our mental state?
I must admit that I too get irritated by minor things more often that I should. But interestingly, phone calls don’t bother me. I guess I landed up in research because I am naturally curious about human nature. So if someone is willing to allow me a window into their world while I am not doing anything else (eg, sitting in a bus), I don’t mind at all. Think of it as a free ethnographic study
Cheers,
Ravi
October 1st, 2006 at 4:03 pm
Ok so I am finally commenting because a few things stood out and bothered me in this one. First of all, why were you not at all concerned that the football guy behind you was 26 and more than likely available?? Priorities!!!! These thoughts should be in your head when you see potential dates for Kerbear!! Second of all, you are quite contradictory about this cell phone bit…aren’t you always on your phone? And third of all, I believe call importance is personal and while you may not care that “Rich didn’t call”, some very upset girl could be wanting to talk to her friend about it right away, which makes it an absolute emergency.
Look forward to leaving more comments!!
October 3rd, 2006 at 8:32 am
Merrill, I’m with you on this one. I’ve experienced some of the same situations. I’m a bit torn on this one though. Making and receiving cell phone calls at the appropriate time and in the appropriate way can help us get more done in an ever-increasingly time crunched day. So what do I mean by “appropriate time” and “appropriate way”? During a movie or important in-person conversation is clearly not the right time. But during otherwise mundane tasks (driving, waiting for an appointment or during lunch) all seem like an appropriate time. So what is an “appropriate way”? To me an appropriate way means that the cell phone conversation should not intrude on the peace and/or discussions of others nearby. Like all of us, I often receive calls when I’m in public spaces. In order to not intrude on other people nearby, I simply cup my hand around the mouthpiece of the phone and speak in a quite voice. By doing this, the caller on the other end can hear me quite clearly (and without as much background noise) and other folks standing nearby cannot hear my conversation at all.
The moral of the post, in today’s fast-pace business and personal environment the cell phone is hear to stay - but we should all use common courtesy and be considerate of other folks nearby.
October 3rd, 2006 at 3:11 pm
As with anything else in life, moderation is the key…I’ve watched people in a crowded space put their hand over their mouth to muffle the sound of their conversation…this to me seems reasonable…it’s the thoughtless person who jumps on their cell as soon as the plane lands and loudly proclaims to the rest of the pasengers how important they are by conversing loudly and unnecessaruily that really bugs me!! If we all attempted to make our phones less obtrusive by covering the phone or moving to a place out of earshot of others…common courtesy…this wouldn’t be a problem.