Book Club On A Blog? No Way!
A few months ago when I was in Boston, I had dinner at a friend’s house and his wife was getting ready to go to a book club. I have never been part of a book club but have always wanted to. Then earlier today after having lunch with a colleague, I open up my fortune cookie and it says “treat yourself to a good book for a needed rest and escape.” I paused for a moment or two and actually had an idea. Why not post a book club on the blog? What I was thinking is picking a book as a test and giving book club members 30 days to read a book. During the month the members would post any thoughts and comments on the book. At the end, I would add a number of questions about the book to spark discussion and look for the members to post additional comments
Yes this is another crazy idea from yours truly. However since I love to learn and like to read, I think this might be an idea to do both at once.
What we are looking for are 10 people to be members of a book club to read a book as a beta test. Once we have 10 volunteers, you will be contacted by email and asked to supply an address (which will NOT be posted on the blog) where we should ship the book. There is NO charge for participating in this book club. We are just asking you to make a commitment and read the book in the next 30 days and comment when asked. If we have more than 10 participants we will randomly pick the people. You are not committing to reading any more than just the one book that we will supply to you.
The book I have picked should be an easy read and appropriate to every business:
Revved!: An Incredible Way to Rev Up Your Workplace and Achieve Amazing Results by Harry Paul & Ross Reck
Please let me know if you like the idea and would like to beta test this program.
I look forward to hearing from you.
July 6th, 2007 at 6:47 am
I have never been in a book club but would love to give it a try - thanks for the opportunity!!
July 6th, 2007 at 8:03 am
As a reading junkie and member of various book clubs along the way, I would love to take part in your crazy idea Merrill! And I promise not to mention the Yankees anywhere in my posts about the book. Unless of course they happen to beating your beloved Red Sox.
July 6th, 2007 at 8:19 am
i absolutely love the book club i am currently in (and President of), and would love to help you start this one. I have read more books that i would not have even considered picking up since the inception of our Southern (and Northern) Belles Book Club in 2004!
I need to know when the ship date of the book will be to make sure i have time to read my current book club book, and then this book.
Can you email me the time line?
July 6th, 2007 at 8:46 am
Hi Merrill - I love the idea. Feel free to add me to the list.
July 6th, 2007 at 9:14 am
Stephenie,
Thanks for your response. Our goal is to pick the participants and ship the book within the next two weeks. We would ask the book club members to finish the book within a month. The book we chose is a very easy read and has around 105 pages.
Thanks again.
Merrill
July 6th, 2007 at 1:30 pm
Count me in. I love beta tests. And the book looks good too!
July 6th, 2007 at 3:11 pm
Sure, I’d like to give this a shot.
July 9th, 2007 at 10:41 am
Would love to join the book club beta test.
July 9th, 2007 at 12:23 pm
Thank you Merrill. I would love to particpate and I’m in between books!!!
July 9th, 2007 at 12:39 pm
I would love to participate in the test! I am always looking for something good to read.
July 9th, 2007 at 12:45 pm
Hi Merrill! I would love to beta test this bookclub! Throw my name in the mix!
Tammie Frost-Norton
July 9th, 2007 at 1:05 pm
I think this is a great idea. Count me in!
Lynn
July 9th, 2007 at 1:15 pm
I would like to participate! I am finishing up a great book “Halsey’s Typhoon.” Merill I think this is a great idea. I wonder if you have any authors reading your blog, because this would be a great marketing concept for them to employ.
July 9th, 2007 at 5:08 pm
Ooh, am I too late, having the drawback of being on West Coast time and just wrapping up about 6 hours of meetings?! If not, please include me!
July 9th, 2007 at 7:14 pm
Merrill think that would be fun. I’d love to participate.
By the way I still want to do a Met game with you and Steve when you are in NY. Give me some dates.
Joe
July 10th, 2007 at 7:36 am
Merrill,
A GREAT idea! Count me in if you still need someone else. Everyone can tell you I’m an avid reader - probably comes from the need to escape!
Marisa
July 10th, 2007 at 9:15 am
Merrill, I am an avid reader and would love to participate!
Gerri
July 10th, 2007 at 9:26 am
I’m in. Love to read.
July 12th, 2007 at 10:49 pm
Thanks for commenting and agreeing to participate. We are in the process of collecting contact information and will be sending out the books in the next week.
We have decided to take all 17 people who responded as apposed to doing a lottery.
Thanks again.
Merrill
July 16th, 2007 at 9:47 am
Rick - Since you mentioned authors who might be reading the blog or in our industry, I just read a novel by Andy Greenwood of Greenwood Marketing. He has written and released 2 mystery novels about a market reseacher who uses his background to solve a couple of mysterious or falsely reported deaths. His first novel was great. I just received the 2nd which I have only read a few pages. All in all, I highly recommend them. Here’s a link to his site where you can order them: http://www.andrewgreenwoodmystery.com/
July 19th, 2007 at 5:09 pm
I’m guessing I’m too late to get a book - but if I get it on my own, can I participate in the online discussion?
July 20th, 2007 at 6:31 am
Book club participants.
We will be sending out the books today and at this point not taking anymore new members for this book.
Thanks to everyone who agreed to participate.
Merrill
July 25th, 2007 at 8:38 am
Good morning.
Thank you so much for agreeing to participate in the Merrill Dubrow Blog Book Club.
A number of you are probably wondering why I chose this book. As a business executive I try and have morale at a very high level 365 days a year. I firmly believe that a company that has a great work environment will have a happy staff that will translate to increased client satisfaction scores which in turn should lead to achieving your company goals.
My hope is that all of us will learn a few things from “Revved! An Incredible Way To Rev Up Your Workplace And Achieve Amazing Results.”
By now, all of you should have received the book. Please let us know if that is not the case.
Please post your initial comments on why you decided to participate in the book club and what you hope to get out of it.
Next week, I will post some questions and points of interest from the first few chapters.
Thanks again for your participation.
Merrill
July 25th, 2007 at 8:54 am
I joined the book club because of the topic and the fact that I’m sure I’ll gain additional insight from the other participants. I’m looking forward to hearing other perspectives.
July 25th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
I joined because I love to read but mostly because I think discussion with other readers will increase my enjoyment of the books and help me gain new perspectives.
July 25th, 2007 at 12:48 pm
I am always reading, but mostly novels. This book looked really good and very relevant. I thought it would be fun to to experience the first online book club (as far as I know anyway) and interact with others and hear /read their perspectives. It will also be great conversation to share with my friends, family and co-workers about this experience.
July 25th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
I joined because first off I like the idea, and secondly I love to have open discussion on various topics. As Merill states above as a CEO he has the challenge to maintain a high level of motivation as this will translate into happy clients, and happy employees.
This topic not only applies to business, but also everyday life and I hope to learn from all participants.
July 25th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
I am an avid reader. I have been in a book club before but I found it difficult to attend the meetings. So, this was a great opportunity. One of the biggest advantage of a book club is to read something you personally would not have picked for yourself. It helps you to appreciate some other “tastes” in literature. Since I read a lot of business books this pick it right up my alley. I am hoping that this idea will take off and we can continue to read the latest trends or dig up some old gems and pick each others minds for pearls of wisdom.
July 25th, 2007 at 7:20 pm
I joined because I love to read - and we presented FISH to our company a few years back and we’ve never been the same. This book seemed like a great follow up to that program and I wanted to see how it could apply to my business, staff…I’m always up for learning something new. I’m hoping I can gain some insights from other professionals that I can apply to my business and offer something to them in return that they might find valuable.
July 25th, 2007 at 9:44 pm
I used to be part of a book club at work, and I am thinking of re-starting it again once of those days. I’d like to get a fresh perspective on how another book club is run. Also, I’m a fan of this blog site, and I know it will be a great discussion for the upcoming book.
I’ve already finished the book, but will save my thoughts for the discussion.
JM
July 26th, 2007 at 11:49 am
I am almost always in the middle of reading something - especially when I travel - but usually novels, to “escape”. I have lots of business books that I have started but without a deadline, I don’t always finish. Knowing that I am part of a book club and having the time line to work against and others to chat with gives me enthusiasm for reading this book. I was also excited by the topic of this book, as a manager, because what I learn could really benefit my team and my workplace.
July 26th, 2007 at 10:03 pm
Thank you Merrill. I’m in as I have never been a part of a book club and I happen to be a motivational junkie! I also can not think of a better group of folks to be collaborating with! Finally, I have never been part of an online community! Best Regards
July 30th, 2007 at 6:31 am
I must admit as I was sitting down to start the book I didn’t realize before I get comfortable that the authors of the book had started off with Katie Adams world getting rocked when her husband of 20 years decided that he didn’t want to be married anymore.
I am sure all of us know people whose job performance is affected when someone’s personal life is in shambles. Katie was no different. She lashed out at everyone, was not a pleasure to be around any longer. Got a new nickname “Witch on Steroids” and ultimately got bypassed on a promotion. Jackie, her boss finally suggested that Katie take some vacation time and try and work things out.
Chapter 2 is all about Katie looking for the “old Katie”. While she is looking for answers she starts to seek help. Help in a number of different ways.
• If you were Jackie (Katie’s boss) what would you have said and done?
• If you were one of Katie’s friends and she reached out to you what would you have said?
• What other comments/questions do you have at this point?
I look forward to your comments and experiencing the book together.
July 30th, 2007 at 8:35 am
I am a big reader and thought this would be a great opportunity to read and discuss a business book. I have belonged to book clubs in the past and we have always chosen novels, so I thought this would be a nice alternative. (And all my girlfriends are either nurses or therapists, so getting them to read a “business book” and discuss it with me? Slim chance…)
July 30th, 2007 at 8:48 am
Good day Merrill,
Like yourself I found the beginning of the book quite unlike anything I’ve read! I have since lent my book to a friend who was going on about her effectiveness in the workplace, at dinner the other night! Hope that was acceptable!
If you were Jackie (Katie’s boss) what would you have said and done?
I would have hoped to have been more compassionate, given the radical change in her personality and tried to be more of a coach that a “boss”. Given they are all in the HR fields, I can appreciate the fine line of personal versus professional involvement… but I would think there would be more of a rapport to build a strong department and company, so everyone benefits and not about who’s taking who’s job…..
If you were one of Katie’s friends and she reached out to you what would you have said?
The reality for a situation like that is that once she reached out to this friend there was room for her to contribute to Kate, in the exact way she did. I think it’s tough for us as humans to intervene in the affairs of those we live with and love and are closest to us. A sort of hands off policy in fear of harming/damaging the relationship.
Other questions and comments:
Really surprised at how this methodology was possible and that it made perfect sense by the time I was done and where in my life I already do things like methods similar to that. Thank you.
July 30th, 2007 at 9:37 am
I finished the book this weekend! It was a nice easy read.
To your question - what would i have said if i were Jackie, first and foremost, i wouldn’t have waited a year to approach Katie. The longer you let a problem go, the worse it gets!
July 30th, 2007 at 10:55 am
I agree with Stephanie that it seemed a long time to address the situation. At the same time, often those kinds of changes are gradual and tend to escalate. I went through a divorce at the same time I faced several other difficult personal issues. It was a lot, especially since I had never faced a great deal of adversity. I feel I withdrew in many ways, as Katie did. It isn’t something I even noticed until I found myself becoming angry with little provocation. My positive attitude became very negative. It was then that I realized that I was still dealing with “things” inside, even though I felt I had healed. Therefore, I can see something like that happening quite easily. Once Katie had alienated everyone, then it became obvious there was a problem. Unfortunately, Jackie really should have addressed it when she saw Katie’s ranking as top supervisor slip. If nothing else, I’m sure there would have been several complaints that could have been signs that Katie might be in need of help. Of course her personal life is her business, but when someone faces such a life altering “tragedy,” it is hard to not let it impact other areas of your life. Jackie might have wanted to give her time to deal with it, but in some ways, she was giving her just enough rope to hang herself. I think Jackie could have been a coach, but even more of a friend to help Katie before things escalated to the point they did.
You asked what would I do if Katie was to reach out to me… Well I can say I have been there. The key is to be sympathetic and understanding. It’s not a competition, but if you can relate to what they are going through and share with them your experiences in dealing with it, you can really make an impact, though it may not be immediate. I remember some advice that was given to me (from a certain blogger that we all know). I wasn’t ready to hear it at the time, because I was convinced I was fine. It was definitely invaluable when I really needed it. Therefore, the key is to be supportive, while finding a way to reach them.
July 30th, 2007 at 11:17 am
Merrill, good questions.
I have been Katie’s boss a time or two…in my experience, it doesn’t have to be something negative that turns a world upside down. It can be something wonderful too - preparing for a baby, planning a marriage, buying a home. All these personal things affect people strongly as they are all stressful (albeit fantastic) events and can easily affect a person’s work. When an employee has seen an organization through a thing or two, it’s only fair that we see them through these things as well…and that takes time and care. And I agree with what I’ve read others say - you can oftentimes see them coming, escalating and can try to minimize their impact.
To my employee: I’m a firm believer that what you think affects how you feel, so I would have definitely asked my employee to isolate their thoughts and make sure they were reasonable ones. Not wholly negative or “all or nothing” thoughts - things that can make you even more stressed. I would have also reached out to those around her in my employ, asking for their support, without offering particulars. I would have told her how I planned to manage her workload so she could take the time she needed without thinking about what she’d left undone. I am also a firm believer in “family” which means we support each other rather than pointing fingers at one another.
As a friend, I always suggest nurturing oneself - taking time to reflect, relax and read a good motivational book.
This book has definitely got me thinking and behaving a little differently, reflecting more on how I got where I am than the place I find myself in now. I find myself saying I’m too busy a lot…and not paying as much attention as I used to…and that is something I am now determined to change. Good reading.
July 30th, 2007 at 5:37 pm
In answer to your question Merrill, if I was Katie boss I probably would have talked to her as soon as I noticed the change in her behaviour. Sometimes just talking with someone about things that are bottled up can prove to be of some help. When you know someone is having a tough time you can keep a watch out for them. Not that you can let them get away with not doing their work but maybe you can cut them some slack and show some support. This can help them to see they are not alone. I have seen some people handle stress remarkably well and others who just need a lot of support. So, I feel you need to fine tune your support to fit the individual. The book makes you realize that at times we aren’t as supportive and caring as we all should be.
July 30th, 2007 at 9:54 pm
I agree with everyone that Jackie should have talked to Katie earlier. When Katie’s whole demeanor changed, it should have sent up a red flag. It’s very strange to me that her boss or even a colleague didn’t try talking with her sooner. I would like to think if I was in a similar situation someone would notice and try to ask me what’s wrong.
I am not sure what I would do if I was Katie’s friend. I think Jen did the right thing by going to Michael - a third party. I know as a friend that I am too emotionally involved and sometimes have trouble giving advice that is hard for my friends to swallow.
July 31st, 2007 at 6:49 am
In response to what I would have said or done if I were Katie’s boss. Even before reading this book I would have valued Katie as a “human resource” and brought her into my office and talked to her to find out what was going on in her life. Secondly as her boss I would tactfully address her effectiveness as a manager/leader and state her position is becoming increasingly in jeopardy.
If I was one of Katie’s friends I would probably know what she was going through already and I would try and help her out (LISTEN!). Sometimes difficult situations as this need a kind ear, and someone that can show empathy.
The only comment I would like to make thus far is the book club is real COOL! I enjoy the interaction with the other readers!!
July 31st, 2007 at 8:24 am
I agree with the others that the time to address it was as soon as it was recognized as a problem. I would also have given Katie some things to think about on her vacation before she reached out for outside help. I would also have reinforced her very solid past performance and told her that I had complete confidence in her ability to rebound. I would also have made myself available to counsel her going forward.
As a friend I would try to reinforce the positives and acknowledge her personal situation , but at the same time advise her to focus on ways to turn the situation around. I would tell her that she should look for ways to separate herself from her negative personal life when dealing with business. I would also tell her that a more fulfilling business life could go a long way in changing and enhancing her personal situation.
Perhaps this is a little ahead of where you want us to be, but I’m a little surprised that the good Dr. suggested that it was ok to be a little disingenuous when putting on a happy face. Perhaps he saw it as a quick fix.
Joe
July 31st, 2007 at 3:39 pm
In many business seminars or management training sessions, I would get lectured about keeping the personal aspect of managing separate from the business process. I’ve never agreed with that philosophy 100% as a general rule. Yes, there are specific situations where you need to follow a specific process to allow fair and even treatment of your employees, not to mention making sure you not putting yourself or the company in a legal situation.
That said, managing people is all about helping your team members achieve their goals. You need to show the appropriate level of compassion and empathy for whatever they are dealing with on a daily basis - whether it is work-related or at home. That level of understanding will lead to a level of respect. Uour team members will work harder for you, and as a result, you will have a successful team.
That being said, if I was Kate’s boss, I would have encouraged Kate to talk about what problems she was dealing with, and how it was affecting her job. Most days, an employee will just feel relieved that the boss understands what they are dealing with - even if no special accommodations are being made. It allows them to focus on the job.
August 1st, 2007 at 9:37 am
Book club readers,
For me chapters 3-6 started to get a lot more interesting and thought provoking. I started to think about people I have worked with and were they like Katie? If so, how did they try and correct the situation? And how did I react?
I have lots of questions at this point:
• Isn’t it really hard to change your emotions that quick and have people think it is genuine?
• Is it really important to show interest in other people first?
• How is Katie all of a sudden remembering things in people’s lives – does she have a system?
• Are you an active listener?
• How do you win someone over?
Don’t we all believe in the concept of high morale leads to happy clients which leads to higher productivity, more efficiency and yes higher profits.
I truly believe in the Winning Them Over concept but for me that happens when I first meet someone not years later. I think I need to give this some more thought and probably could change how I handle a situation when I don’t connect with a person at first.
Please post your comments on this part of the book by August 6.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Merrill
August 1st, 2007 at 9:52 am
I think the book was giving some useful advice about how to care for people even when you don’t. I remember a situation I was involved in years ago with a cantankerous person. No one wanted to be in charge of her because she was so tough to deal with. I did care about her. But she needed to see that. So, little my little I earned her trust and we ended up in a great relationship. The relationship benefited all concerned especially the company. So, the advice is on target. I does work but it takes time, dedication and a real investment of yourself
August 1st, 2007 at 11:17 am
Merrill - in response to your question about changing emotions, I guess it would have to depend on the situation and the people. I would think her immediate team would have the hardest time buying into it. Still, if everyone was as miserable and unhappy as it seemed, it would take very little to jump start some positive energy and help get people back on track. I say that because I’ve seen it happen. Her team may not really care if she’s nice, but if she makes them feel important at work, it can be very powerful. I do think there are some hokey things about the book, but ultimately if you’re nice to people, chances are they’ll be nice back. Who is to say that they are being any more sincere. But if she’s consistent and persistent, then those around her are going to find it easier get on board. Think about it… Have you ever been around someone didn’t really care for. All of the sudden they are nice, touch on some hot buttons of yours and really seem genuine. The first thought that comes to mind, is “maybe I was wrong about this person.” Or “they aren’t as bad as I thought…” It doesn’t mean I’m inviting them over for dinner, but I’m sure more likely to be nice back and also the next time I see them.
In fact, some of my closest friends are people that I was unsure of or they were unsure of me, when we first met. First impressions can be great, but they can also be misleading. How do I win someone over? I find a common “hot button” or topic that is interesting and engage them on that. When you prepare to meet a client, you need to research their firm and know enough about them to engage them. It’s not much different, except you rarely have the chance to research ahead of time. Asking questions or just having open dialogue, you can often find common ground. It’s rare that I can’t find something I have in common with someone or something that is extremely interesting. This way, it’s not fake. I can sincerely care about what they are saying. It’s easy to make people feel important if you really do care about what they have to say.
August 1st, 2007 at 3:26 pm
Such interesting discussion. I too have an immediate connect button and it’s hard to get past that gut reaction when you meet someone. But in the business world, we don’t have the luxury of hand selecting everyone we encounter, so it’s important we find that common ground somewhere. Family is a good starting place, since everyone usually has one…and of course there’s always the fact that we all work too hard or travel issues to fall back on these days.
It’s hard to imagine an auto switch from the “Witch on Steroids” to “Miss Sweetheart” would be bought by many overnight as it appears to be. But I do know from personal experience that you can overcome a past “image” with enough diligence. After we presented FISH at Jackson, I had to make a conscious effort to be “fully present”. I had a bad reputation (rightly earned) for not paying attention when someone spoke to me - glancing at my email, multi-tasking, etc - that came out in our meeting. It took almost a year, but I finally overcame that reputation and now if I am not fully present it’s a joke instead; something I get good naturedly razzed about by my team.
Showing interest in people and remembering things that are important to them is key to success in ANY relationship, it seems to me. When you put others first (with a good heart) they know it and can feel it - but keep that good heart or you could end up in “resentment city”. Same thing with family, friends and career. You get out of something what you put into it.
August 2nd, 2007 at 4:55 am
Good day,
I propose “energy”. Think about it, we’ve all experienced or are in tune with positive energy people and we are innately attracted to that force and way of being. We like to emulate that way of being, what is it: “smiling is contagious and healing”, by contrast yawning also seems to be contagious. I happen to agree with Paul in that we can all find a point of interest, if we choose to be interested. I consider myself a very active listener, as my customers needs are always most important, but in the event that I walk into a perfect strangers office, I have to “flick” (if you will) the interest switch, by looking around the office and workspace and latching onto those things that I have knowledge about or that interest me, into being a most active listener and presenter and relating to that individual in the most passionate, caring way I know.
I’m certain we all experience this, that when I walk into our offices people are very quick to judge my mood and energy level and are more than willing to share their opinion about my sleep levels or the quality or lack of smile, and it’s at that juncture, not quite like Kate that has to premeditate and take herself to a “happy place” every time, but I do make a consorted effort to not leave my every interaction with a person (s), in a worst shape than I found them , but rather in a better, more inspired place.
In case I neglected to state earlier, thank you Merrill. This is a wonderful forum and I hope it’s fulfilling your intention.
August 2nd, 2007 at 9:50 am
Fee,
Nice comments. Let me ask you to expand on the word “energy.” I am really intrigued by that word.
We all agree that not everyone is energetic.
Can people really get more energetic?
How can you get people to change?
Are you born with it or not?
What do you think?
Merrill
August 2nd, 2007 at 10:32 pm
Thank you Merrill,
By energy I mean that which motivates us to take action. It makes our pulse rise and our blood flow. It’s goals that inspire and uplift us to accomplish the end result, which we’re hopefully most passionate about. Personally it’s those things in my community which make the biggest difference, that create my energy. And it’s also a matter of choice, Kate chose to energize and present her upbeat being, by visualizing her kids until such time she didn’t need to as she was genuinely passionate about her people and she was in control of her thoughts and energies. I get my energy from being passionate about the things I’m up to, be it educating myself in investments, skiing down a mountain or watching my 8 year old daughter take the lead in her swim heat or present our services to people. My outward spirit are a direct reflection of my energy level and they come from the choices and passions I take on in life . I have down moments too but at the end of the day, I LOVE being with people and each of us whether “energetic” or not has a measure of this energy, in some direction or or another. I choose to interact with people from a positive energy perspective, as we’re all surrounded by negative energy. I’m certain we’re all born with it, and we have the power to control, nurture and guide it, with every interaction. I feel energy manifests itself through our passions!
August 3rd, 2007 at 12:27 pm
I have been traveling so I am a little late getting started. I did read the whole book on the plane though!
If i had been katie’s boss I hope i would have spoken to her long before I gave her propmotion to someone else. That being said I would have offered her the benefit of my experience. I have experienced some horrible personal problems during my time in the workforce. The first major one helped me cope with all the ones that followed and made me a better, stronger person. It is very important to seek objective help in some form or fashion, whether it be individual counseling or a support group. I chose the latter and it changed my life. I would have suggested that Katie use any company resources available to help her work through her issues. As a friend I would also have suggested to her that as individuals we cannot change other people’s behavior or thoughts. The only control we have is over how we think and behave. What I have found is that when we change, the behavior of the people around us changes over time. This is actually the core of what the Dr in the book is saying.
The speed of the change described in the book is a little unrealistic to me. When I was working on changing how I behaved towards some of my family members, it was hard work and I had lots of slips before it became the real deal for me. The fact is the problems don’t magically go away because we change our attitude towards them. It is a process and sometimes the problems never go away. It’s how we cope with them that’s important.
I hope I’m an active listener. I am in sales and that’s part of my job. Building relationships is all about listening, responding appropriately and finding a real connection. And then wowing them by remembering things they have told you when you speak again, like how their vacation went, how there kitchen renovation is going, etc. People are won over when they feel you really care about them and what’s going on in their lives.
August 4th, 2007 at 10:55 am
Merrill, in my opinion the effort that Katie was making would be very transparent. As I mentioned in my earlier note I would be hard pressed if I was one of her reports to believe her remarkable turnaround overnight.
While it’s important for her to show a change in her attitude, that should be accompanied by a realistic change in her life , which she must embrace for her efforts to be genuine.It’s a delicate balance , but for her to proceed in a more realistic way would give her more credibility.
It was always very important for me to connect with all of my employees every day. That was done in different ways. Sometime the connection was personal and involved their interests and families. For others the connection could involve business while injecting some level of levity.This approach takes a commitment to knowing your employees and making them feel that your interest is genuine.
I think I was a good listener and tried whenever possible to make sure the focus was on the topic that an employee was interested in.Of course at times that had to be managed and directed.
You can’t win them all over, but if you are honest and sincere in your dealings with people you can gain their respect and confidence. There is no boilerplate for doing this. The approach needs to be customized to the individual and the situation.
I want to reiterate how important I think it would be for Katie’s superior to be involved in helping her solve the problem and to monitor as well as mentor the process.
Joe
August 6th, 2007 at 6:50 am
Clearly the second step of the program is about recognizing people for doing a good job. This step is very important in connecting Katie to her staff and frankly saving her job.
• What have you done to “Blow People Away?”
• In the past what did your boss do to “Blow You Away?”
• Justin, Greg, Todd & Travis reorganized the department to make it more efficient. What could you do in your job or office to be more efficient?
• When Chad Morrison personally thanked the team how do you think they felt? Would you be “Blown Away” if that happens to you?
One of the strongest messages for me in the second step is it doesn’t always cost money to “Blow People Away.” Clearly it seems that you need to think out of the box, be very creative. Personalized noted can go along way. When was the last time you wrote one to someone on your team or in another department? I am sure all of us can learn the power of doing that.
As Katie was flying high she ran into Sean McCarthy who wanted to know what the President was doing in her department. After Katie had told him he responded with “Don’t let that go to your head” as he walked away. Disappointing for sure.
• Has your bubble ever been burst? What did you do?
I must admit I am still uncomfortable when Dr. Allen says you can’t go to the third step of the program until you “Blow me away’ for two more weeks. I don’t believe you can and should put a time frame on this - shouldn’t it happen naturally and fairly regularly?
I look forward to your comments.
August 6th, 2007 at 9:00 am
In response to what have I done to blow people away, well, I think in most work environments it is aways nice to be recognized for doing a good job. I have met people who felt that it wasn’t necessary to do that since that is what you are paid for, right? It is true that you are expected to give an honest day’s work but it doesn’t hurt to encourage people at all levels during the day. I liked the fact that Katie even made time for the people outside her office. Everyone you come in contact with deserves to be treated as you want to be treated. Everyone whats to be noticed and appreciated. The more you can make that happen, the more support you will receive. In my last position, I created a company program that rated the managers in customer service. We sent out surveys to our clients to gather positive comments so that we could send the results out for all to read. It became important to get on “the list”. But, the really important issue was that we became a team. We worked for the common good. We tried to help one another out and when some person was having a hard time of it, I would send a personal letter to let them know I understood their problem (personal or business) and that they could count on me to help them out. If need be, I would fly to their office and help with their work load until the situation was resolved. When you put yourself in their shoes and actually take on some of their problems, you have showed them that they are cared for, and you have earned their respect. When you decide you want to “Blow people away” or as I would call it “earn their respect”, it is going to take some action on your part. This is not something that you “give a try”, it is something that you are dedicated too. When Katie turned her attitude around, she went back to who she previously was. She wasn’t really acting, she was bringing back what she had hidden. I don’t believe you can act your way into people hearts and lives, they would know it was not real.
August 6th, 2007 at 10:58 am
I believe it is hard to change a person’s emotions quickly, especially after going through many of life’s disappointments as Katie has. However, if Katie puts her problems on the back burner and truly focuses on people she comes into contact with I think it can be done. Being in control of her emotions and focusing on others is the key.
In my opinion I believe it is important to show interest in others when meeting people for the first time. Many of us attend networking events and meet a lot of new people on a regular basis, but do we truly take an interest in the new people or do we just add to our collection of business cards? I try to take interest in people and do all the right things; follow up with a phone call or an email, etc. As in any endeavor it takes two people to be successful.
I think Katie remembers things about people’s lives by actually caring for the individual, and also by knowing that if she cares about someone else it will inevitably affect her in return. You can attract more bees with honey than you can with vinegar!
I know I have a lot of room for improvement, but I try and be an active listener. One of the best seminars I have ever attended was Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. My wife and attended one of these seminars about ten years ago, and found it to be very enlightening to understand some of the issues in communication that men and women face.
The ways I try to win someone over is by being honest, and deliver on what I promise. Case in point, if you mention to some you are going to call, or email them after a networking event; follow through with the promise. Keep it simple, and follow through!
This is FUN!
Rick
August 7th, 2007 at 10:15 am
I have a great client who has an office with several women I work with on a regular basis. For Mother’s Day I sent a dozen roses to the office wishing the women a Happy Mother’s Day. I got several amazing e-mails and one from the President of the company expressing how blown away everyone was.
I was the winner of an office sales contest, and my boss (actually it was Merrill) knowing I was a huge Tour de France fan bought a yellow t-shirt and wrote the names of all my clients on it. He presented it to me as the winner of the yellow jersey, the highest honor in the Tour. It was extremely thoughtful and very personal and he blew me away. Of course, I still have it!!
August 7th, 2007 at 3:08 pm
I remember the first time I was “blown away” - it happened about 10 years ago. The CFO of the company saw the finance team working VERY long hours to prepare and submit the Budget for the upcoming year. After multiple revisions and roughly 6 weeks of 70 hour weeks, she realized we were all a bit tense, stressed and tired. She had also become a bit of a “witch on steroids” herself through the process. To help the morale of the dept, she had a massage therapist come to the office and we all received 20 minute chair massages.
It was very nice to be blown away, but it was unfortunate that the CFO waited so long. Smaller, more frequent instances would have gone a long way and would have been much less expensive, I’m sure! When it happens more often, it seems more sincere.
Merrill definitely practices blowing people away on a very regular basis - I particularly like the Popsicles or ice cream on a really hot Texas summer day. He has come up with very creative ways as well as simple “thank yous” to make all feel appreciated.
August 8th, 2007 at 8:10 am
I will admit that I was surprised this book had so many twists and turns. Will the real Katie stand up? Katie from Deerfield was outed. Katie had to come clean during a unscheduled meeting with her entire department. I must admit I felt sorry for her and eagerly read on to see what she would say and the end result.
One of the most powerful statement in the book is Katie tried to bring out the best in people. As a manager, I try to do this by being fair, firm and consistent. How do you do it?
Confrontation at the office is hard.
• What did you think about the Sean & Katie heated discussion?
They agreed to bury the hatchet and work together – can that really happen with everything that has gone on?
• Have you ever worked with someone who was threatened by your success? If so how did you handle the situation?
Sean was the person who gave Katie the nickname the “Witch on Steroids.”
Very interesting message in the book – Katie not only learned a valuable lesson that changed her life she is now teaching it to others and having it change their lives as well.
• Has this happened to you?
I look forward to your comments and hearing what messages you got out of the book that I may have missed.
August 8th, 2007 at 8:46 am
Poor Katie; I felt so badly for her when she had to be so vulnerable. Nobody feels comfortable when they’re exposed unless they’re in a completely safe environment and that’s rare. I work like the dickens to bring out the best in people and do it by involving them. Nobody likes to work in a vacuum, so I try to include my core staff in major and minor decisions, get their input and get them involved on a deeper level. The more they know and understand the corporate goals, the easier it is for them to succeed in meeting or exceeding them.
I also occasionally ask them to become more than they think they can, by putting them in situations that require them to stretch their minds and expand their skill sets. It’s not always a smooth transition - as people don’t always believe in themselves as much as they could - but in the end, they glow with pride and are eager grow a little bit more.
Luckily, I’ve never worked with anyone who was threatened by my success; only those that worked hard for our mutual success. I don’t often take credit for any success, because without my team I have none. All I do is make the hard decisions. They do the hard work!
This book has had some really strong messages and I’ve started to circulate it among my core staff. Often when I am exposed to a great idea or find myself intrigued I include those closest to me, which keeps us all traveling in the same orbit. And isn’t the half the battle in business?
August 9th, 2007 at 8:21 pm
I don’t really have an example of how I “Blow People Away,” so that is something I need to work on. About a year ago my boss brought all of the associates (four of us) a bottle of wine from France. I don’t know if that qualifies, but he does appreciate everything we do, and he regularly shows his appreciation, and not always monetarily.
I think one way we have made our office run more efficiently is by reducing the amount of proposals that are sent via mail, and rather sent via email in Adobe Acrobat format. That is the “green” way to do it.
I think the team that worked on reorganizing the office was very proud of their achievement, and when the CEO visited them in person; it reinforced their passion for their job and working for Katie. Even though Katie wanted to “Blow Them Away;” she was in affect making her situation better because she showed that she cared.
Sean McCarthy probably thought when he saw the CEO in his department that Katie was trying to undermine his authority, but Katie was only trying to regain the respect of her constituents. Sean had all the right to be concerned not knowing Katie’s motives, but once they talked and he sincerely tried to offer her assistance he eventually warmed up to Katie.
In my opinion the story of Katie and her transformation did not happen in a matter of weeks as it is portrayed in “Revved,” but over a longer period of time. Can someone change their way of thinking and attitude in a short amount of time? Maybe, probably, but it all depends on the person and the situation they are going through.
Merrill, the questions you ask truly bring a lot of different issues to mind and make you think about how “I” can be a better co-worker. No matter if we are the CEO of the company or an employee on the loading dock, we are all stakeholders. The CEO is leading the ship, and the employee on the loading dock is fueling the ship.
August 9th, 2007 at 8:24 pm
Merrill, do you plan on selecting another book to read? I like this idea, and if you do select another book I would be willing to purchase the book at Borders (or where ever).
August 10th, 2007 at 10:39 am
Rick,
Thanks for your email and comments. I haven’t 100% decided how we are moving forward. I am sure we will be discussing another book but the time-frame and participating hasn’t been nailed down.
It sounds like you really enjoyed the experience which makes me really happy.
More to follow.
Merrill
August 12th, 2007 at 9:34 pm
oops — I know I am late but I was traveling and then on vacation. But, I have read the book. At first, I felt that it was a little simplistic. However, the book provides some very good ideas and lessons. I was shocked at how Katie’s boss handled the situation and how long she waited, especially given Katie’s successful history. Also, I wondered why no one in Katie’s group approached her given that Katie had been a supervisor for so long and had a history of good relationships with her staff. I surely would have approached Katie whether I was her boss or she was my supervisor. I would have asked her to go to lunch or to go for coffee, etc. so that we could talk outside the office. However, I guess the authors were trying to get several points/scenarios across and were on their own specific path to get there.
I was a little taken aback when Dr. Allen told Katie to “act” like she cares about others. I think Sean’s reaction when he heard her conversation with Dr. Allen was warranted, however, he most certainly handled it very unprofessionally. He should have confronted Katie before he made assumptions. Fortunately, she recovered quickly from it, because of her sincerity which was a little ironic. It is great to see that honesty and being authentic always wins no matter what the situation. It is very powerful. And I am so glad that the authors made a strong point of this.
I most definitely believe in positive reinforcement as well as recognition for employees. I sometimes take them to lunch, a gift card, a manicure, a case of beer, a “date” for them and their spouse, time off, etc. I vary it according to the person and what I think they would appreciate and I like to always change it up so that it is not the same for each person. I also don’t want people to compare. However, it is not as simple as suggested in this book. You have to make sure that everyone is recognized equally for what they do. You also need consistency and planning for the future since it is likely that they will continue to over perform, as the authors also indicate. For example, Sheila was early with a report(s). A thank you email, flowers and a letter to her supervisor, the president, etc. may have been a little overdone for a single occasion. What happens the next time she over performs in other situations? How often should a person be “blown away” when they are over performing consistently? You don’t want to dilute the gesture.
Merrill — I think you have proven that an online book club certainly works!
August 13th, 2007 at 7:00 am
Merrill, I was away last week and am catching up on 2 of your notes.
Blowing people away does not have to be a big or a one time occurence. Blowing people away is finding ways to show people you are aware of their efforts and contributions on a consistent basis.
I have always tried to acknowledge effort and performance by acknowledging that person in public, be it in a meeting or via some other form of communication. A lunch, dinner or a ballgame have worked, as well as telling the person to have dinner with their mate or significant other on me.
What also works is to communicate to clients that the rewarded person is working with, to let them know that we are acknowledging superior performance so that the client feels that this person is important to the success of their business.
I have been very fortunate to have great bosses throughout my career who treated me professionally, and who I also developed personal relationships with. Whenever possible I have tried to do that with people who have worked with me.
No matter the size of the company, it’s always important to be recognized by the person ultimately in charge. That’s why it is important for CEO’s to have a presence and for managers to create those opportunities.
Confrontation is a negative emotion but a reality in business for sure. Rather than play games I believe it is important to address it head on. Sit down with the people involved and sort out the issues among the people involved. That is the job of a manager. If you try to skirt the issue it just gets worse.
Merrill, I also love being involved in these discussions, but felt that the book was overly simplistic and at times unrealistic.
Thanks for keeping me in the loop.
Joe
August 13th, 2007 at 1:58 pm
As I finished the book I must admit I was surprised that Katie married Dr. Allen. Not exactly sure why the Authors ended the book that way. I enjoyed the book and I believe it touched on a number of important items.
• Your personal life can effect your business life – I have started to see and hear more and more examples of this
• It really isn’t hard to wow people and “Blow them away”
• People can change although I don’t believe it can happen as quickly as it did in the book
Overall I enjoyed the experience and thank each of you for your participation in the book club. Maybe you can do everything online!
I look forward to hearing any closing comments you may have and if you have a suggestion for another book.
August 13th, 2007 at 2:17 pm
I agree that the marriage at the end was an odd and unnecessary ending to the story.
I enjoyed the book and have found from personal experience that the steps work. I have always cared about the people I work with, but usually get caught up in getting the work done and forget about taking some time to talk to them each day. In the past week, I’ve made the effort to say hello, good morning and thank you more often. It’s amazing how easy it is and how people respond. I still need to work on the blowing them away part. On to phase 2…
August 13th, 2007 at 2:55 pm
I found the book to be a really good reminder. We all get busy and often focused on work and forget about the people we’re interacting with. Greeting people with a smile or making that effort to listen to what they are really saying can make all of the difference in the world. The ending with the marriage was a little hokey and irrelevant. All in all, the book provided some great advice that most of us know, but might forget to implement. I actually liked the message. Not unlike Alice, I have made a more conscious effort to greet people with a smile and take the time to say hello. I have a lot to smile about in my life right now, so it isn’t hard. Still, it’s something I intend to focus on as time goes on. Thanks for organizing the book club. I look forward to the next read.
August 13th, 2007 at 3:29 pm
I kind of saw the ending coming and decided to ignore it. Perhaps they started it with a personal thing and wanted to end it that way as well. It didn’t sit that well, but it also didn’t take away from the meat of the messages. More interesting to me was the the authors appeared to lose steam in the final chapters…it was almost as if they tried to take their core message to a level it didn’t necessary belong on. Al in all a valuable book, and easy enough read, and my staff is going to start looking to be blown away soon, I can tell.
I did enjoy this Merrill; what a great idea. Checking in periodically and reading others’ thoughts, ideas was the most valuable part of this experience. I now I’ve gotten a lot out of everyone’s insights and I appreciate the opportunity to participate.
August 13th, 2007 at 3:42 pm
Marisa,
Thanks for your comments. I actually thought the first 60 pages were much better than the last 40 - I thought it was just me but I guess not.
On interesting side note is that we share the building with another company and I always say hello when i see someone in the hallway but only about 1/2 the time is it acknowledged.
I am so glad you enjoyed the experience. I wasn’t sure how it would go over but it did seem to work out well.
Merrill
August 14th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
Hi Merrill,
Thank you so much for this experience. Similarly, I found the book a bit anti climactic. I think I would have more pleased if she was promoted to be CEO or some such thing, but alas we all have our stories..
I must say that I find myself, more often than not, introducing myself to all. Whether it’s on the phone or a regular passer by, I stop and say, “I’ve seen you many times, but I’m sorry that I can not recall whether we were ever introduced….and I’m Fee…..” or some such thing. It’s AMAZING what people have to share. Similar to the book, I find out things about people that I can actually contribute to their goals and missions, in just a brief interaction.
It’s really fabulous. Thank you Merrill and I will look forward to the next book, should I be invited!!
August 14th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
Overall, I think the message of the book is great. I will definitely try to practice these 3 steps!
However, I did not really like the way they explained the 3 steps. The Katie/Dr. Allen story line seemed a bit contrived and overly “cheesy.” There was plenty of times I thought to myself “Yeah right.”
I liked the experience of the book club and would love to continue to participate.
August 15th, 2007 at 8:15 am
I enjoyed the book - definitely an easy read - but did find the pace at which Katie turned her attitude around and the marriage at the end a little unbelievable. The overall message of the book is great and a good reminder to smile, listen, care and be polite. Non of that is hard - it’s just forgotten sometimes.
Reading the book has also stirred the creative juices of my mind to figure out ways to blow people away - it will be fun to practice.
Thank you for the experience, Merrill!!
August 15th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
My turn to make a comment as I’ve been out on vacation.
I’m with everyone where we say that this book servers as an excellent reminder that we (managers) need to connect with our staff, demonstrate respect, and show our appreciation on repeated basis.
I agree with the “win them over” and “keep them revved” approaches. My skepticism comes into play with the “blow them away” concept. The book does not exactly list many examples of how you can “blow’ someone away. It only mentions showing a letter of appreciation to your boss and your boss’ boss. You can show appreciation throughout the year, but exactly how often can you go “over-the-top” in recognizing staff (in a given year) without diluting its effect. I would have liked to see more tactical examples of this. Otherwise, we’re just talking about being consistent with taking opportunities to single out individuals and recognizing their accomplishments, whether it is during an awards ceremony or a department meeting or even using simple thank you notes.
JM
August 19th, 2007 at 4:51 pm
I have enjoyed reading every comment above (and apologies for lack of involvement to this point). Overall, this blog is a success - great exchange of ideas and personal stories. I really appreciate what has been shared here. I agree that the book is simplistic but inspiring. While the story is cheesy, it joins the successful books that affect the “business” world via story instead of lecture. It felt like everyone here responded to the belief in caring, in listening, and in appreciating, with varying degrees. I admit the book struck me, as I walked into my front office with my usual smile and hello for our receptionist. I remembered seeing her in the parking lot giving a box to her daughter, which she had previously asked if it would be ok to take. So when I walked in, I stopped and asked if this was the weekend her daughter was moving. I got quite a story, and at the end, she thanked me for asking. It wasn’t difficult, but I have to thank the book for even inspiring me to take this extra effort, with someone I had always been “just pleasant” with. So I guess I’m in two camps - change CAN be sudden and appreciated. And I do think the “allegory” part of this book allowed the authors to feel it was ok to exaggerate to send an inspiring message. But for us in the trenches, we could always use more specific examples. I know I’m struggling with a too large staff, and a recent comment in an exit interview made me realize that I am holding back, not connecting with everyone, as it feels overwhelming. I have been a bit defensive lately, about being “just human”. So this book made me ask hard questions of myself about how much you can give at work, and how a simple lesson with a receptionist can make me realize how much I may have slipped into not “caring” while still thinking myself a caring manager. So Thank YOU Merrill, for blowing us all away with this idea and your generous offer to provide the book. I hope we can try this again - I also would be very happy to buy my own copy, and ask you only for your blog questions and blog coordination!!
August 19th, 2007 at 8:13 pm
BOOK SUGGESTION:
Getting Things Done
By: Allen, David
Published By: Penguin Group Inc.
“The personal productivity guru” (Fast Company) delivers powerful methods that vastly increase your efficiency and creative results-at work and in life In today’s world, yesterday’s methods just don’t work. In Getting Things Done, veteran coach and management consultant David Allen shares the breakthrough methods for stress-free performance that he has introduced to tens of thousands of people across the country. Allen’s premise is simple: our productivity is directly proportional to our ability to relax. Only when our minds are clear and our thoughts are organized can we achieve effective productivity and unleash our creative potential. In Getting Things Done Allen shows how to: Apply the “do it, delegate it, defer it, drop it” rule to get your in-box to empty Reassess goals and stay focused in changing situations Plan projects as well as get them unstuck Overcome feelings of confusion, anxiety, and being overwhelmed Feel fine about what you’re not doing From core principles to proven tricks, Getting Things Done can transform the way you work, showing you how to pick up the pace without wearing yourself down.
August 20th, 2007 at 3:55 pm
I completely agree that while change is possible, the speed and extent of Katie’s turnaround was sugar-coated and contrived. However, that doesn’t mean that I can’t learn anything from this extreme example. I will never be so 100% perfect as Katie, that I exemplify the “win them over” and “blow them away” principles 24/7. But I do think about it more actively now, and seek opportunities to demonstrate this behavior. It is amazing to me, always has been, that if you compliment people on something personal and ask them a question or two, you can spur a 10-minute response… people like to talk about themselves, and/or the things that are important to them, and it makes them feel good. Moreover, it isn’t that hard of a thing to do for someone.
Silliness like the baffling marriage to Dr. Allen aside, I did enjoy reading this book and I am glad I joined in, even if I have kept most of my comments to myself until now. I guess that’s because there was no chapter on “simplifying your life and finding time to do it all”. I think it was a good reminder of “what’s important”, and the difference you can make in a workplace and in relationships without a lot of effort. Just like Katie’s personal life affected her job - and that is a human truth, it happens - what works for your job can also work for your personal life. There is a lot to be said for smiling at home, too, even if you have had a hard day at the office or a frustrating commute home. You need to compliment and engage your family members just like your co-workers. These are basic lessons that apply everywhere and are inspirational to me.