Is There Anyone Out There Dumber Than Me?
Please keep in mind I am not handy around the house. I really don’t have the experience to fix most things and yes I am very proud when I am able to change light bulbs.
Recently, everyday I would notice that there was a hole in a flower bed. Since I tend to notice everything – this was no different. I noticed it every day and this is exactly what happened:
- I thought about what kind of animal or snake made the hole
- I looked around to see if the animal was looking at me - since I noticed it very early in the morning and it was dark
- I filled in the hole
- I went to work and told everyone about what happened and I have some kind of anaconda (a little embellishment) living in my front yard
The next day it was the exact same thing – in fact this would probably happen five times a week.
Then one day, I asked our landscaper to change out some bushes and he noticed one area wasn’t getting enough water. He mentioned the reason was we had a broken sprinkler head. Since JM is a nice guy and this is Texas, he said it was no big deal and mentioned he would fix the problem. That night when I went home I noticed he had a red marker in the area of the broken sprinkler head.
Guess where the marker was?
You guessed right – in the exact spot of my friendly and daily hole. There was NO animal, just a broken sprinkler head and my foolishness of not being able to figure it 
out. I apologize to everyone at work who I told about the “make believe” animal, snake or whatever was living and burrowing into our front lawn.
As I mentioned…I am not handy. Are you?
- What is the dumbest thing you have done around the house?
I look forward to hearing your stories, comments and seeing how your story compares to mine.
September 12th, 2007 at 9:24 am
The dumbest thing I ever did was spend a ton of money on a lawnmower, blower, edger and other sundry equipment. What was I thinking?? It took just over one year for me to admit defeat and outsource the lawn-care.
September 12th, 2007 at 4:45 pm
First, I too recently found a small hole in my flowerbed and wondered if a snake had found a new home under my daisies. But I later learned it was a small frog (or a happy hoppy as your son would call it). He comes out when it gets dark to eat the June Bugs on my porch.
Now for the dumbest thing I did, I started digging in my front yard to plant a crape myrtle. While using the shovel, I sliced something that looked like a wire. I ran up to the door and called my daughter to check to see if the TV was on, and it was. Then I had her check the internet…and after a few minutes she came back and said that too was working. Next, I had her check the phone line - and it too worked just fine. I couldn’t figure out what else the wire could have been for, knowing all the other electrical stuff was at the back of the house, so I took a closer look at the wire, only to see small roots growing off of it. The wire ended up being a very thick red root. My daughter had quite a laugh from that event.
September 17th, 2007 at 10:58 am
We moved from Plano to our Oregon farm when my daughter was three years old. She and I were walking across a field when we saw a male pheasant standing stock still at the edge of the tall grass. She pointed and said, “Look Mommy! It’s a statue of a bird!” Which makes perfect sense if you’re born in Plano where all of the wildlife has been driven out and replaced by statues of wildlife and Starbucks.
I said, “Oh wow, Gillian! Why don’t you go check it out?”
She trundled across the lawn, fingers outstretched, eager to take hold of the beautiful “statue.” She got within about three feet when it let loose an ear-piercing screeched and burst into flight, diving low through the tall grass and disappearing. She screamed and ran to me in synergy. Courage, fear, cruelty, laughter and love rained down on us in that moment. I hugged her and laughed until we both cried.
September 17th, 2007 at 11:48 am
I would venture to say that I am the King of Un-Handiness.
I have mowed over my cable line, weed-whacked my ankles so much the scars have scars, and hammered my thumb into near oblivion hanging pictures. I have also cut more power cords with various instruments of destruction than I care to recall.
But the worst was last Father’s Day. As I was trimmimng the hedges with my handy electric hedge-trimmer, I lost concentration and nearly severed two of my fingers. (28 stitches - I didn’t know fingers had room for that many stitches!)
I cannot close my right hand, but can tell within a few minutes when the next pop-up thunderstrom will hit Atlanta! My wife, of course, has banned me from all things electrical, sharp, or that have moving parts. She’s not even sure I should be allowed to drive!
Like Ravi, above, I too have sadly, outsourced the Lawn care. I now watch from my window, like a kid who has to finish his peas before allowed to go outside and play. Really, I should at least be allowed to use a leaf blower - don’t you agree??
September 17th, 2007 at 12:23 pm
Jeffrey,
The short answer is no! You need to stay in the house and watch your landscaper take care of your property if not you will end up in the hospital again.
The only thing you should consider is bringing them a drink every few hours!
Merrill