Comments on: Is There Anyone Out There Dumber Than Me?

By: Merrill Dubrow

Merrill Dubrow — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 17:23:42 +0000

Jeffrey,

The short answer is no! You need to stay in the house and watch your landscaper take care of your property if not you will end up in the hospital again.

The only thing you should consider is bringing them a drink every few hours!

Merrill

By: Jeffrey Lorber

Jeffrey Lorber — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 16:48:36 +0000

I would venture to say that I am the King of Un-Handiness.

I have mowed over my cable line, weed-whacked my ankles so much the scars have scars, and hammered my thumb into near oblivion hanging pictures. I have also cut more power cords with various instruments of destruction than I care to recall.

But the worst was last Father’s Day. As I was trimmimng the hedges with my handy electric hedge-trimmer, I lost concentration and nearly severed two of my fingers. (28 stitches - I didn’t know fingers had room for that many stitches!)

I cannot close my right hand, but can tell within a few minutes when the next pop-up thunderstrom will hit Atlanta! My wife, of course, has banned me from all things electrical, sharp, or that have moving parts. She’s not even sure I should be allowed to drive!

Like Ravi, above, I too have sadly, outsourced the Lawn care. I now watch from my window, like a kid who has to finish his peas before allowed to go outside and play. Really, I should at least be allowed to use a leaf blower - don’t you agree??

By: Kelley Styring

Kelley Styring — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 15:58:18 +0000

We moved from Plano to our Oregon farm when my daughter was three years old. She and I were walking across a field when we saw a male pheasant standing stock still at the edge of the tall grass. She pointed and said, “Look Mommy! It’s a statue of a bird!” Which makes perfect sense if you’re born in Plano where all of the wildlife has been driven out and replaced by statues of wildlife and Starbucks.

I said, “Oh wow, Gillian! Why don’t you go check it out?”

She trundled across the lawn, fingers outstretched, eager to take hold of the beautiful “statue.” She got within about three feet when it let loose an ear-piercing screeched and burst into flight, diving low through the tall grass and disappearing. She screamed and ran to me in synergy. Courage, fear, cruelty, laughter and love rained down on us in that moment. I hugged her and laughed until we both cried.

By: Kristy Hoover

Kristy Hoover — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 21:45:23 +0000

First, I too recently found a small hole in my flowerbed and wondered if a snake had found a new home under my daisies. But I later learned it was a small frog (or a happy hoppy as your son would call it). He comes out when it gets dark to eat the June Bugs on my porch.
Now for the dumbest thing I did, I started digging in my front yard to plant a crape myrtle. While using the shovel, I sliced something that looked like a wire. I ran up to the door and called my daughter to check to see if the TV was on, and it was. Then I had her check the internet…and after a few minutes she came back and said that too was working. Next, I had her check the phone line - and it too worked just fine. I couldn’t figure out what else the wire could have been for, knowing all the other electrical stuff was at the back of the house, so I took a closer look at the wire, only to see small roots growing off of it. The wire ended up being a very thick red root. My daughter had quite a laugh from that event.

By: Ravi Raina

Ravi Raina — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 14:24:50 +0000

The dumbest thing I ever did was spend a ton of money on a lawnmower, blower, edger and other sundry equipment. What was I thinking?? It took just over one year for me to admit defeat and outsource the lawn-care.