Don't Fire The Shot Until You Know Who Is In The Room!
I have probably made every mistake you could imagine with regard to this topic.
Years ago I hit a single in softball and while I was on first base, struck up a conversation with the first baseman and foolishly made a comment about Lauren (hey isn’t she nice looking) in the stands. As it turns out it was his sister…ouch!
As embarrassing was the time when this person in the elevator struck up a conversation with me about where I was going in the building. I told him I was going to see blank and he proceeds to say not great things about this particular company. The issue was that we weren’t alone in the elevator and one of the people in the elevator overheard us. You could guess what happened next — this person who overheard us was in a meeting with me, and even though I was just listening it made for a VERY uncomfortable new business development meeting.
I also know two friends who have recently interviewed people for a job who name dropped a few people whom the interviewee didn’t like or respect and at the drop of a dime changed their opinion and they never would hire the person.
If you know me well, you know I name drop. I pride myself on knowing a lot of people. BUT over the years I have tried to be careful when I toss out names. Yes I still need to make progress on this that’s for sure!
There are times when name dropping can work. But not all the time.
When you name drop be very careful — DON’T FIRE THE SHOT UNTIL YOU KNOW WHO IS IN THE ROOM!
It doesn’t matter if you are at an industry conference, client presentation, high school reunion, elevator or baseball field. It can backfire very quickly.
Remind yourself of this: It is important to be conscious of how you think the person you are speaking to will react BEFORE you mention any names. If you really aren’t sure, proceed with extreme caution.
- Are you a name dropper?
- What are your thoughts on the subject?
- Have you made foolish mistakes like I have?
I look forward to your comments and stories.
June 25th, 2008 at 10:32 am
A few years ago we built a new house out in the country in North Georgia. Our builder subcontracted with a local plumber. This guy and his helpers were a little, shall we say, rough. We were trying to keep the price down and this guy recommended using the kind of plastic pipe that is normally used in mobile homes. He told us that his brother was the building inspector so that he could get it to pass.
When we were moving in, I went back to our temporary apartment and met two young men who were moving in. We had had plumbing problems there, so when I met the new tenants, I mentioned that to them. One guy said, “That’s no problem, I’m a plumber. He’s a plumber. My Dad’s a plumber. My uncle’s a plumber. We can fix any problem.”
So I asked him for a card, saying that we had just moved into a new house and could always use a good plumber. He asked, “What’s wrong with the plumber who did the house?”
I asked him, “Did you ever see the Bob Newhart Show, with Larry, Darrel and Darrel? Well, that’s our plumbers.”
He asked me, “What’s his name?”
I told him that I did not recall the name, but that his brother was the building inspector.
The next thing I heard was, “That’s my Dad.”
I tried to explain and apologize, but all he said was, “Don’t say any more or I’ll have to hit ya.”
Oops.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
Steve,
That is a very funny story - thanks for sharing.
Merrill
June 30th, 2008 at 10:32 am
I had a boss that used to love to hear the gossip that went on in the bathrooms at work. She used to lift her legs, so people could not tell that anyone was in the stall.
Seeing that I am a male, one might wonder how I know all of this. Well, she told me as she asked me to place one of my Representatives on a warning for talking bad about her in the bathroom.
June 30th, 2008 at 10:52 am
G-Man,
I am speechless that someone would actually do that. Simply amazing!
Thanks for sharing.
Merrill
June 30th, 2008 at 11:11 am
I work for a very large healthcare company that employs hundreds of thousands of people, and I email daily with many, but rarely meet them face to face. I was mortified last year at a work function when I asked the woman seated next to me if she knew “Jane Doe” and her response was “That’s me!”. I only knew her via email and I asked her if she knew herself. Very embarassing!
June 30th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
I was once eating at a Hibachi Steak House. We had 6 out of the 8 seats at the grill. It turned out that the 2 other people seated with us were from the same industry. They asked me where I worked and after telling them, I asked them if they knew anyone who worked there. To my surprise they said yes and dropped my name. I asked them how well they knew that person and was told they had actually only spoken by phone. I told them that now it would be ok to say they met me.
June 30th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Alan,
I am still laughing that is one of the funniest things I have ever heard. Thanks for sharing.
Merrill
June 30th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Jocelyn,
Seems like we all rely on email way to much - hopefully they weren’t your next door neighbor for too long before you asked them that question.
Thanks for sharing.
Merrill