Everyone has stress in their life but we all deal with it a little differently. Working every day, going to the first day of college, planning a wedding, having a child, moving into a new house, moving out of state, not having enough money to pay your bills, not saving enough money to send your kids to college, not saving enough money to retire are all stressful things.
The question is, what do you do about it.
Here are a few things that I do:
- Go for a ride in the car and just think – for me this really can help clear my mind
- Go to a comedy club – laughing can help a lot
- Get a massage – no better way to relax for me
- Call someone – remember that is what your significant other and your friends are for. By talking it out you can make some real progress and in the end whatever you were stressing out about might not be that big of a deal.
- Play a sport – this really helps me a lot. For some reason when I am playing a sport it brings me back to my childhood and allows me the opportunity to forget about everything.
What do you do?
I look forward to hearing your comments.
janet says:
Stress moves me into action mode. I start thinking and planning and problem solving. I have to admit I often do my best problem resolution at night in bed although it does keep me from sleeping. I keep busy and make sure I do not miss my mornings at the gym. Exercise really relieves stress for me and running or swimming in the zone is another good time for me to sort things out.
I am not so good about calling people although I think it is a good idea. I tend to rely on myself to resolve whatever it is that is causing me the stress.
Stephenie Gordon says:
Drink heavily…. just kidding
When things are coming at me fast, I take a deep breath, count to 10, then grab a good novel. After getting lost in the pages for a 10 to 15 minutes, I can then regroup and refocus. The next step is to formulate a plan and put everything in perspective. I try to remember that whatever it is, it really could be worse. I have my health which i am eternally grateful for. I have an amazing career, a wonderful husband, and fabulous friends. When you remember all of these things, money and small day to day issues seem less important and can be resolved.
Paul Kirch says:
What a great topic. I’ve had my share of experience dealing with stress over the last few years. Between changing jobs, a divorce, moving, selling a house (took 9 months while paying rent in Dallas), getting married, building a new house, having my current company sold, etc. I’ve had to learn how to manage the stress without adversely impacting my health.
One of the best lessons I learned was during a stress management course in college. It was an elective which taught a lot of great breathing exercises, showing you how to calm yourself down. Of course when I took the course, there wasn’t much real stress in my life. They would dim the lights, have us lay on mats and practice deep breathing. Mostly we would relax to the point we all fell asleep. I loved that class.
To this day, I still practice taking deep breaths and trying to calm my heart rate to cope with it. Exercise and just getting fresh air also help. Like Merrill, I’m also someone who likes to clear my head while driving and at all costs, I try and stay focused on positive outcomes to keep negativity from taking over. In all honesty, be careful who you talk to. If they aren’t someone who can help you look at a positive outcome, it can make the situation seem worse or more stressful. It is a good idea to share and get things in the open, but you should be prepared to hear answers you may not like. It’s life and it’s reality. Therefore, I’m a big believer in solving a lot of it on your own, though sharing can really help you lighten the load.
Bob Graham says:
I have two Golden Retrievers who lighten my mood considerably. When I’m stressed we’ll go out and play ball or rough-house on the living room floor.
At the end of a stressful day I usually have a single-malt Scotch (aka Scottish Prozac), neat (i.e. no ice or water) in a glass. Never more than one (the objective is to wind down for the next day, not to get hammered).
Fee Sepahi says:
Great subject, Merrill! For me it truly does matter what type of stress it is, and to what degree do I want/choose to let it impact me. I like many others live for sports and love to play sports and on a given day, should the occasion arise, I’ll ride out on my bicycle, walk out to the golf course, since I live on one, and play a few holes to regain the focus and or pick up a basketball and go to the public court and shoots some hoops.
Within working hours, which is where most of my stress occurs, I tend to adopt Paul’s philosophy of breathing. I do participate in Yoga and that has helped tremendously with the concept of taking, what I call a personal time out and centering or re-aligning my energies.
Short of all that, I’ll find some deep, thick woods, where I’m sure no one can hear me and SCREAM at the top of my lungs……!!!!:-)
Thank you Merrill!
Lance Hoffman says:
Great topic Merrill. While initially not the reason I started doing this, I spend between and hour to an hour and a half in the gym every morning – that’s how I start my day. Engaging in something that’s all about personal best, along with some great tunes (THANK YOU IPOD), I clear my mind of almost everything both significant and insignificant, leaving me with just THE MOMENT!
I like what others have posted on this – particularly Paul and the class he took. If it was a class of mine, I guarantee you I wouldn’t have showed up for it. However, over the past 5+ years, I have explored meditation on my own, and found it very helpful in coping with whatever life throws my way. While I wasn’t always like this, I am a true believer that we are never given more than we can handle, and stress is too often the result of thinking we HAVE MORE THAN WE CAN HANDLE, our inability to accept what is at that very moment, because we tend to project the affect of what’s happening NOW as something that has either a catastrophic end, or threatens us right now in some way (financially, personally, etc.).
In reality, these perceived ends are rarely the case, and the stress seems to be caused by focusing on either some point in the past or some point in the future, but is almost ALWAYS the result of not focusing on and accepting the NOW – which is the purpose of all meditation – to bring one’s self into the present moment. The simplest way to do this is by concentrating on your breathing, as was taught in Paul’s class. I try and do this on a daily basis, immediately following my workout (seems easier to meditate at the gym then at home with the wife and kid), but remind myself that I can do this at any point during my day, whether sitting at my desk, taking a walk around the block, or even while driving (just don’t close your eyes).
Having a network of people to guide you is also important, but I agree with Paul about watching who you talk to, but perhaps for different reasons. I used to spend a lot of time explaining my side of things to people, but my motive was not to calm myself or gain direction – it was to prove I was right – and of course, I spoke with those people who I thought would back me on this. Today, I don’t do that.
For anyone reading this blog that wants additional assistance with this, I strongly recommend as a first step going out and getting the book “The Power of Now,” by Eckhart Tolle. It’s a great book, that’s written well and has some real basic tools for this stuff.
Great post again, Merrill – thanks!
Willie Martin says:
Unlike some of the above respondees, I am single and merely fend for myself. My stresses usually revolve around making bills up to date and catching sporting events.
When times of stress do enter my life, IE- when I can’t control things that are not in my favor, I will take long long walks. Up to three hours if necessary. Something about being able to hear sounds of nature and progress take me back to a place of saneness.
I have also learned that since everyone knows the economy is bad, you are given a little more latitude if you have skins on the wall, so to speak.
The biggest mistake you can make is when you want to handle everything that moment! Tackle one problem at a time and you will find the plate get smaller. Then a new plate with stuff shall emerge. My Mom always said it takes longer to be messy than it does to stay clean…
Keeping a journal or budget diary is also a great way to track your finances. You’d be amazed how things like food, alcohol, cigarettes, and gas will cost you! Thankfully I gave up #s 2 and 3 years ago…
If all else fails seek out your most level-headed best friend. A balanced ear has a way of softening blows to the ego. Ego and pride are two things that I believe contribute to the perception of how we react to stress situations.
Take care Merrill!
Kelly Heatly says:
The basics: breathe (as mentioned above) and drink water.
If I’m stressed because I have too much to do, I stop and make a to-do, even if it’s 100 items long. Then, I prioritize it from 1 to 3 — use an Excel spreadsheet so you can move things around, delete done items, etc.
Many have mentioned talking to a friend, but I find that alone time is often necessary to reduce stress. I like to take a “30-minute vacation” by myself such as going to Starbucks and working a crossword or running/doing the treadmill.
Great topic — thanks.
Ruthann Chesnoff says:
It surprises me that not one of the responses was music. Form me that is my relaxation! No matter how stressful a situation may be all I have to do is listen to my Ipod, with all of my favorite artists and songs. It melts away all of the tensions that build and seems to put everything in the proper perspective. Try it it’s great!
Merrill Dubrow says:
Ruthann,
Good point -I actually forgot to mention that when I am driving around I am listening to oldies (most people really dislike my musically taste) and that really helps.
Thanks for your comments.
Merrill