Recently I was reading a review for Susan McCarthy’s new book, The Value of Money.
Susan discusses a number of things in her book, one of which was very interesting. She mentions that she encountered seven basic types of relationships people have with money.
Here are the seven different types with short descriptions:
- Money is King. This type judges themselves and others by how much money they have.
- Little Lambs. This person, McCarthy writes, has a childlike relationship with money and favors the “I’ll think about it tomorrow” approach to finances.
- “I’ll Pick Up the Bill If You Just …” This type uses money as a weapon to manipulate others. As an example, McCarthy cites a client who structured a trust that included some family members and explicitly left out others.
- Wolf Never Leaves My Door. No matter how much money this person has, they always feel poor. Fear dominates this person’s attitude toward money — fear of running out of money, fear of losing it and fear of someone else taking it, McCarthy writes.
- The Money Martyr. For a person bent on being a victim, money can easily provide the means for self-sabotage, McCarthy says. This relationship, she warns, is an easy one to unknowingly pass on to children.
- All is Well. These people appreciate money for what it is: a simple tool. Wealthy or not, they feel calm and confident about their finances.
- Spread the Joy. People with this attitude use their money generously and compassionately, McCarthy says, adding that they are never controlled by it.
When I was looking at the seven different descriptions I was trying to see which one I fit in. I had trouble with just one. I think I am 75% “All is Well” and 25% “Spread the Joy.” The funny thing is I believe that I have always been that way regardless of how much I made–which is very interesting. Not sure I have ever been “Wolf Never Leaves My Door”, but maybe I was in college or early in my career.
- I know this is dangerous but for those that know me, what category do you think I am?
- What category are you?
- What about some of your friends?
I look forward to hearing your comments.
kelly mangum says:
Merrill I thin you are pretty self aware. In my opinion you are both “all is well” and “share the joy.”
I think I am “all is well” with a healthy balance of the “wolf” when it comes to frivolous spending and retirement savings.
Interesting categorizations!
Malcolm Williamson says:
Spread the joy baby!
It’s only money, and the tighter you hang on, the quicker it leave you.
The law of attraction is simple…
Lisa S says:
I have an idea of which category (or rather categories) I would place myself but I think the really interesting thing would be to see where others would put me.
Merrill Dubrow says:
Lisa,
Forward the link to one of them and see if they would put you in the same category or better yet – ask your husband. I am sure he would get it right.
Merrill
Steve Gentile says:
I worked a paper route from 25 customers when I got it to over 100 in a year and ran it like a business (oh the joy of being a Capricorn).
When I applied to colleges about 25 years ago, I was accepted at several state schools, whose tuitions and fees were inexpensive compared to my first choice, New York University. Upon my acceptance to NYU, my dad (parents were split) said the equivalent of “that’s nice but I can’t afford that” and I said “Don’t worry pop, I can” having saved the margin between what I bought the papers for and what I sold them for. I got a first rate education at my first choice school and worked for it.
For me, when you come from a mentality of deprivation, you tend to think “if ‘they’ have more, I have ‘less’ so you hoard and your world becomes small. When you come from a place of abundance, you share the flow of things in life – money, love, respect, congratulations, etc – and like the river it is, it flows back to your door in kind. That’s my speed.
I live my life this way, shaped my relationships from this grounding, and don’t feel poor, in money or spirit. Hungry, maybe – starving, never! So a 6+7.
I don’t venture to guess the constellations of other people’s money stars, Merrill. You know what you are and live with that, either comfortably or uncomfortably.
I learned if you don’t like it, change it – money is within your stewardship – own it.
Merrill Dubrow says:
Steve,
Nice story and good comments. When I was younger I had a paper route and loved it. even at a young age I would try to figure out how quickly I could deliver the papers, was there a better route and of course the best time to collect payment and hopefully a .25 tip – those were the days!
Thanks again.
Merrill
Kristen Darby says:
I am more a “wolf” and my husband is more a “spread the joy”. This makes for a good balance of spend and save, but also for some heated discussions.