Another good one – thanks for sharing.

Merrill

I agree with you 100%! Every man should give his seat up for a women, someone elderly or disabled. No question about it. And if they don’t shame on them.

Merrill

I do like when men walk behind you, let you through a door first, etc. The gesture is nice because men are often taller/stronger, and I don’t mind the feeling of “protection.”

I do not think it’s necessary to stand up when a woman leaves the table — very formal and old-fashioned, not in a good way. However, I think it’s polite for everyone to stand up when a new person approaches the table, enters the room, etc. to introduce yourselves and shake hands.

The most common manners “no-no” I see: not giving up a seat for elderly, pregnant, or disabled. It’s appalling how many young men and women don’t do this!

Personally, I wasn’t raised in a way that stressed table manners beyond not talking with food in your mouth and not having your elbows on the table.

When you only have ONE fork beside your plate…you don’t struggle with which one is the salad fork, etc. And which glass is yours well, the one in front of you of course! It’s not like we had 2 or three?

Okay, I have picked up some of the finer points. This came through (1) observation, (2) listening and (3) having a kind person explain some of them to me, for which I am grateful.

If I’m in the presence of someone who speaks with their mouth full I oftentimes will wait until they are finished and ask them to repeat themselves. Or, if it’s someone I know well, I’ll answer them in a garbled mumble I know they will find impossible to understand…just to make a point. (this would be in a private setting, not in public)

I usually open doors for people I’m with, as well as nearby people who might be about to go through the same door; whether behind me, or oncoming foot traffic. It’s just common courtesy.

Car doors can be more challenging it seems to me. If I’m walking my fiance` to the car she sometimes reaches the car first and opens her own door. When this happens I’ll still hold it open as she enters the car, and I close it for her.

Other times, because I’m usually letting her have the lead in a parking lot for example, she reaches the door first. If she’d hesitate I’d gladly open the door for her. But it takes me an extra second or two to get in position (because I’m behind her) and if she opens the door first…well…the opportunity is lost.

Further; saying “please” and “thank you” are all-too-often overlooked.

As the saying goes…”Common courtesy is…UNcommon!”

I have to agree with Stephanie on the table manners section, it seems like a lot of “don’t dos” but it really just comes down to people being polite. There is one that I must add to the table manners list and that is taking your hat off while eating (especially in a restaurant). As far as standing up when a lady gets up, you really don’t see it happen that much, especially in California, so to me the proper place to do it would be in a nice restaurant or if you are out with someone you are trying to impress (a client, date, etc.) otherwise people will look at your weird and ask you where you are going.

The last guy that I “officially” dated use to open the car door for me all the time, without even thinking of it. I somewhat got use to because the guys that I have dated since then don’t stand a chance with me because they don’t do it. I laugh because, Merrill, you said that the guy should always pump the gas… I feel that way about driving! If he knows his way around, he should do the driving whether we take his car or mine.

One compliment that I always get when I am out with anyone is that I always offer to pay for at least my portion of the bill. People usually appreciate this and it seems like they want to take you out more. I just don’t know where the line is to when it becomes offensive or if it does when you keep going out with the same people who always insist on paying.

There is nothing better when you see people with proper manners because I see it as a respect issue and knowing how to take care of your neighbors. In fact, I have tried to set up etiquette classes here at the Country Club I work for (too bad we don’t have a younger membership). I think manners go a long way in life and you will notice that they are contagious.

I also can’t stand the driver who is on the cell phone not paying attention and darn near causes and accident.

I have a book on business etiquette in the client viewing room .