Most of the time whenever I post something, I have an idea if people will read and enjoy the topic. Are they engaged in the subject and will they add comments?
Whenever I write about a sensitive subject, I never know if readers will put their guard down and add their comments. This is one of those times.
Everyone has things they are afraid of. Everyone has things they are uncomfortable with and I am no different.
So what am I afraid of:
- Snakes – I hate snakes. Always have and always will. In fact I hate seeing snakes in a movie and have a need to close my eyes.
- The water and specifically drowning. Since I always skipped swimming when I was at camp to play other sports, I am a terrible swimmer and have almost drowned on 3 different occasions (AB & GS remember). I love to go to the beach BUT rarely will I go over my head in the ocean.
- Failure – Not exactly sure where I got this trait. Maybe from my dad. But I hate to fail and am very afraid of coming up short on things that I am involved with. I try and work very hard to overcome that but I still have a lot of work to do.
Now your turn:
- What are you afraid of?
- How long have you felt like that?
- Are you trying to overcome it?
I look forward to reading your comments.
Rhonda Ellis says:
Wow, we have some fears in common then!! I wonder what would be the #1 mentioned fear if you polled people across the world? Hmm, inquiring minds wanna know.
My top 3 fears are (ranked in order) Fear #1 = SNAKES!! It is my opinion that there are only 2 good snakes in the world — a snake I never come in contact with EVER, and a dead snake. Forget this stuff about “That’s a black snake, they’re good snakes, don’t kill it!.” Yeah, RIGHT!
Fear #2 = Fire. Have had a fear of fire since I was a very small child. It destroys everything in its path, you never know when it will strike, it is always unpredictable and it can get uncontrollable in a hurry.
Fear #3 = drowning and in general just being stuck where eventually I will not be able to breathe — (like trapped in a cave, or buried alive, etc.). I am EXTREMELY claustrophobic.
Okay, so those are my biggest fears. Now I will return to a “happy place” — my office where there are no snakes, no fire and no traps. Just me, my Coca-Cola and my trusty PC. 🙂
Merrill Dubrow says:
Rhonda,
Thanks so much for sharing – clearly we have something else in common since I am also drinking a coke right now!
Merrill ” I hate snakes’ Dubrow
Stephenie Gordon says:
SHARKS. So afraid of them i have to really coax myself to get into the ocean.
I don’t like dark water in general because you never know what could sneak up on you from any direction. I am constantly paranoid when I’m swimming in dark water. So, overall i just am afraid of not knowing my surroundings.
Jennifer says:
1) I have an irrational fear of being trapped in my car underwater. Nevermind the fact that I live no where near a body of water and probably only find myself traveling over water 2-3 times a year. I resisted buying a car with power windows until it got to the point that you could no longer buy a car without them. And then I purchased a couple of those emergency hammers so I’d be able to break the windows. 2) And spiders, of course.
Fee Sepahi says:
Hmm, another deep subject! Thanks Merrill.
Rhonda, I heard somewhere that public speaking was a leading cause of fear in the world! Not one of mine, by the way…
I suppose my worst fear is dying alone. Not sure where I got that from. May have something to do with my mother and father divorcing at a young age and me feeling abandoned….who knows…
I suppose my largest fear is of being incapacitated and this is being developed as I age and I see people around me deteriorating and the awful diseases that are going around.
I would really dislike being incapable of normal functionality.
Michael Braunberg says:
I suspect our most common human fears (not necessarily in order) are death, abandonment and loss of control, and my guess is that most fears and phobias (failure, snakes, spiders, claustrophobia etc.) are proxies for deeper issues they represent – most often fear of being engulfed and annihilated by forces indifferent to one’s individual existence.
The elephant in the room is that menacing something which is inexplicable until it manifests as illness, loss, catastrophic injury, seemingly unbearable grief, or any of the myriad nasty surprises life provides – the hammers of the gods which smash up everything we have so thoughtfully and carefully constructed.
I think it was John Lennon who said that life is what happens when you are making other plans. I am afraid the man was right.
Vaughn Mordecai says:
It is comforting to know that I may not be alone in my…”irrational” fears. I’m afraid of (in order):
1. Failing – Related to this is LOSING. I’m sure that this revelation will come as quite a shock to those that know me well (yeah right). Just about my entire life operates on how to avoid failing or losing. I’ve become quite a competitive person as a result.
2. Drowning – I LOVE to breathe. I still swim, but mostly for the reasons in point number three. The idea of having to hold your breath under water until you are forced to give up and inhale a lungful of liquid scares the willies out of me. I’ve saved more than one person from drowning and they have just about sunk me in the process every time…that may be where it comes from.
3. Getting Old – Or even worse, not getting old. I have measuring sticks in my life that point to…”that’s when I’m old.” It used to be when I was too scared to do a double front-flip on my trampoline or on a diving board (don’t even want to try it now because I’m afraid I’ll break my neck). Now growing old has been defined as the point at which I won’t try to ride a rail or do a 360 on my snowboard…I think the time is coming soon. I’m sure at that point the measuring stick will be defined as something else.
Interesting topic…Thanks Merrill!
Merrill Dubrow says:
Vaughn,
Appreciate your comments and willingness to share. I never knew so many people had a fear of drowning – amazing. I thought I was alone on that one.
By the way I am impressed you still snowboard – my knee won’t allow me to even try that.
Merrill
Ed Sugar says:
Being threaten with a gun or knife and any type of violent confrontation. Have had guns stuck in my face on two occasions and pray that they have been the last I ever have to endure.
Fear of failure, extreme exposed heights (flying – okay, standing on the platform of a 30+ story building – not okay) and paying retail follow behind.
Merrill Dubrow says:
Ed,
I think the gun/knife thing probably makes my list as well. Never knew that happened too you not once but twice. Thankfully I haven’t had that experience.
Safe travels.
Merrill
Sean Jordan says:
I used to have an irrational fear of marrying a woman and finding out after the fact that she used to be a man and had hidden it from me.
Oddly enough, this fear wasn’t groundless — one of my college girlfriends had all the traits of a person who was born a hermaphrodite and surgically turned into a female. I never confirmed this with her, but all of the signs were there. (Thank goodness that was an innocent enough relationship!)
I’ve since conquered my fear by 1) educating myself about what it means for people to actually be transgendered, 2) worrying less about such silly things and 3) marrying a woman who is a quadruplet, and who thus has siblings who can vouch for her femininity should I have a relapse. 🙂
Danielle Blugrind says:
I’m afraid of everything you are! And huge spiders.
I cannot even view a still photo of a snake in a book, and have a recurring snake nightmare that dates back to my preschool years!
Paul Valdez says:
I am afraid of places that are intolerant. It baffles me to know that there still places out there (including within the US!) that still wreak of hatred toward certain groups. I believe a world of mutual understanding will make our surroundings a better place.
Amy Shields says:
Leave it to you, my friend, to put it so beautifully.
Lynn Stalone says:
I’m with Vaughn – I have to go with failure as a huge fear, as well, particularly as it relates to losing. This is an ingrained fear since childhood and I see no way to get around it. I’m not sure it’s actually a bad thing in the long run, as it has forced me on more than one occasion to buck up and do what I thought was not possible.
Blindness is a really big one for me. I can’t imagine the loss of being able to read and see the world around me. Even with all the other available senses, living in darkness would be very difficult to endure.
And, I fear what the world holds for my daughter as she moves into adulthood (I imagine almost every parent harbors this concern). Will she be successful and fulfilled in her life? Will she be healthy and happy? Will she make a significant contribution to society? Will she be safe? Have I given her all the tools she needs to deal with the crises that will inevitably occur in her life? Realistically, there is so much out of my direct control here that it is always at the back of my mind.
Great topic!
Kelly Heatly says:
I’m with Vaughn — fear of growing old. I fear being helpless or totally dependent on others. It’s a huge motivator to stay active and try to stay healthy. I say ride that snowboard for the rest of your life, even if you no longer do a 360 on it!
This is silly, but I have a huge fear of cockroaches. Snakes and spiders don’t bother me one bit, but if I’m even 3 feet away from a cockroach, I totally freak! I’ve got the heebie jeebies just thinking about it!
Bill Dunn says:
Elevators. I will not get in a crowded elevator. If it looks crowded to me, I’ll either wait on the next one or take the stairs.
I was trapped in an elevator on two separate occasions in my youth, one of which was on the upper floors of the Westin Peachtree Plaza – at the time the tallest hotel in the world – in glass elevator car! As it turns out, the reason we were trapped was because it shut down automatically due to it being over loaded.
Needless to say, spending what seemed like hours (probably more like minutes) staring many floors down to Peachtree St. instilled in me a fear that continues to this day.
Ruthann Chesnoff says:
Getting older and losing close friends and family members. This really gets to me when I hear bad news of sickness in someone close to me. I am not afraid of getting older, but am terrified of getting ill and not being able to take care of myself.
Amy Shields says:
In order (and neither are irrational):
-ANYTHING happening to one of my children (or loved ones, friends, etc.). If you’re the parent of grown kids, especially, you know what I mean; if the phone rings after 10:00 PM, my heart rate seriously doubles!
-SQUIRRELS (they are hideous rodents in pretty outfits and I know that some day one is going to attack me)
🙂
LS says:
The thought of losing one of my children is something that haunts me. I know this is a fear that most parents deal with but I think the premature birth of both of my boys has intensified it for me.
Fear of drowning is something I’ve had all my life – swimming lessons in my younger life might have been a good investment! Fortunately, it’s not enough to keep me out of the water.
Rats & mice though I can’t say whether it’s more of a fear or just an intense dislike. Give me a spider over a mouse any day!
krista says:
well I am pleased to see that so many share a common denominator with regards to my fears of;
Drowning
Losing one of my children or husband
Spiders
But what takes the cake for me (and I truly think is unique to me) is that I fear getting lost (literally not figuratively). I’m VERY geographically challenged and have probably the worst sense of direction of anyone in the universe. I know exactly where this stupid phobia comes from though (entirely different topic) and have made progress in my adult life to prepare myself for the unknown when traveling/driving/even walking down the street sometimes…. oh and I have to say that GPS was my breakthrough not therapy 😉
Will Morris says:
Snakes, guns, knives, and Glenn Beck.
Dixie says:
Wow! Lots of sharing our deepest fears….
Snakes, mice and/or rats.
Having grown up with an older brother who kept snakes as pets and teased me unmercifully with them, I still have a fear of snakes. Like you, Merrill, I have to close my eyes in movies (Indiana Jones was tough!) until my husband tells me I can look. Although garter snakes don’t bother me and I actually even managed to hold (a harmless) one at the Confidence Learning Center with my Kinship Partner (didn’t want to pass my fear on to him). And, of course, you know what you feed snakes, right?….mice and rats
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