A few weeks ago I was in Chicago having lunch with some friends when I noticed this couple that was pretty much pressed up against the door. Since it was pouring out, the couple was trying to stay as dry as possible and get under the awning outside. I looked a little closer and noticed the guy was standing there in a tee shirt and had just given his outside button down shirt to his friend or significant other. I thought that was really cool and special. It got me to think in general with everyone moving so quickly these days and pretty much in a hurry… is everyone being as respectful as they once were?
Meaning, are people waiting to hold the door open for someone?
Are they holding the elevator for 5 seconds if they see someone coming?
Are they racing to cut the line?
- So, I ask you. Is chivalry a thing of the past?
- Because everyone is in such a hurry is being nice a thing of the past?
- What was the last nice thing a total stranger did for you?
I look forward to reading your comments.
John Castellano says:
Be nice is a thing of the past for most people but not for me.
roger austin says:
I think the younger you are the less it is done. In my travels I think the older generation still sees all of this as a way of life, being courteous, holding doors, etc…. There are exceptions of course to every rule but I just don’t think a lot of the younger generation has been taught this or has seen it becasue of so many broken homes.
This was actually discussed by Eric Bolling on The Five the other day on Fox News. He was lamenting that it seems our culture shuns a man that pulls a chair out, opens a door, etc… for his wife or date as demeaning to her. He stated that he enjoyed doing this not as a demeaning act but a loving act done out of respect and kindness.
I agree with him and continue to hold doors and chairs for my wife, mother and daughter. I will continue to let women in the elevator before i enter and will do the same at door ways.
I hope that I have done my job as a father and that my son has been taught to do this as well and continues to do this for his wife and women in his life throughout their marriage.
stephenie gordon says:
Chivalry better not be dead…
But this leads me to a funny story that just happened last week and i immediately called my girlfriend to report on because i was so taken back.
It all started on the road to daycare. One of the other daycare parents pulled out behind me (small daycare, we know each others car) and B even said “There’s A daddy”. traffic was a little bad so i cut through a parking lot to get to daycare. So did A’s dad, but he went up a row ahead of mine and got in front of me. As we pulled into the daycare, there is a circular drive, A’s dad parked right in the middle instead of pulling up a couple of feet so i could pull in behind him. I had to go around. OK, he wasn’t paying attention, no big deal. We go into daycare, he said hello (made up for parking situation), we placed back packs in cubbies, his daughter’s cubbie is closer to the door. We went to leave, he was in front and SLAMMED the classroom door in my face. OK, maybe he didn’t see me… Then there is a 1/2 door separating the entrance from the assembly area. Again, right behind him, he closed that one on me too! Now, i’m getting huffy and i think as i walk by his car, I hope he at least waits to let me get around him before taking off. NOPE, i had to jump back as he roared away. I AM ASSUMING he was having a bad day, BUT, unfortunately, chivalry was dead that day.
Ed Sugar says:
Chivalry and good manners are relics of the past. With the decline of the traditional newspaper as a daily source of news and information, one of the things the Internet and social media has failed to deliver is a valued authority and resource as to what constitutes good manners and proper etiquette. Often the subject of punchlines for many comedians during their careers, both Ann Landers and Dear Abbey were key public authorities on how one should and must conduct themselves in public. Their advice and rules were read by the public on a daily basis and served as a foundation for civility in our society. To my knowledge there is not one person on the Internet or social media who has been deemed the ultimate authority when it comes to how one must and should conduct themselves in public and adhere to what society deems to be proper etiquette and good manners.
I could go on until next week with my list of “UGHS!” when it comes to public manners and etiquette, so I will leave just one pet peeve. When I was young, we were instructed that when it comes to entering an elevator, after the doors open, to first wait and let anyone who is wishing to exit the elevator to do so before you begin entering. It is more common than not for me to witness 3 to 4 people entering an elevator and then allowing an older woman the chance to squeeze her way out before the doors close.
Jamie Sykora says:
As a mother of 3 children (2 boys and 1 girl), this has been one of the important things I’ve wanted to keep alive in my kids. It is not just something that has to be taught by men or by dads – there are a lot of single parents out there now. Do unto others as you would have done unto you is our creed – I make the effort daily to be the example to my children by saying please, thank you, yes ma’am and yes sir to them so it just becomes the norm that they will treat me as their parent with this same regard and others. When the boys have had to shop with me – they get the luxury of pushing the cart, opening the doors, and being the heavy lifters so to speak – it’s a team effort. The lines of being little gentlemen and ladies have become so skewed – parents have to really take a hard look, balance their work, etc., to be very present in their children’s lives so they can foster these good values and morals into tomorrow’s generation. Though it may seem a thing of the past – chivalry is only dead if we fail to instill it.
Rachel Romano says:
Chivalry is both alive and dead… We have less of a common culture/ value system in America than we did just a few decades ago. There are those who still employ and teach chivalry, those who don’t even know what it is, and those who know it but choose against it for some reason. You will notice all types in public, and will likely associate more with those who act more like you, so when you see someone behaving differently, it is more obvious. 🙂