Like most of you I get tons of emails daily. Some emails are just supposed to be funny while others are actually really funny. This email from my 80 year old Uncle J gave me a chuckle so I thought I would share it:
As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized:
- At my age, I don’t really give a rat’s XXXXXX anymore.
- If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal
- A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water but is still fat
- A rabbit runs and hops but only lives 15 years while a tortoise doesn’t run and mostly does nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.
- And you tell me to exercise?? I don’t think so.
Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to remember the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Now that I’m older, here’s what I have discovered:
- I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it
- My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran
- I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart
- Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
- Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
- If all is not lost, then where the heck is it ?
- It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.
- Some days you’re the top dog, some days you’re the hydrant, the early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
- I wish the buck really did stop here, I sure could use a few of them
- Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
- Accidents in the back seat cause kids
- It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere
- The world only beats a path to your door when you’re in the bathroom.
- If God wanted me to touch my toes, he’d have put them on my knees
- When I’m finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess
- It’s not hard to meet expenses ….. they’re everywhere
- The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
- These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I’m “here after”.
- Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
- HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE????
How is that for some funny observations?!
I’m still laughing at #14…and another one, but I’m absent minded so I can’t remember!
- Which one is your favorite?
- Anything you would like to add to the list?
Tom Mularz says:
Great thoughts, Merrill!
I would also add this thought from Boston in the early 70’s:
“Jesus saves, but Esposito scores on the rebound!”
Christine Cook says:
Merrill,
#14 is super funny! Why? Well, I’m wondering if this is the case, then what am I going to do with my boobs : ).
Thanks for the chuckle.
Rock your short week.
Christine Cook, PRC
Ed Sugar says:
Yes, aging is not for the faint of heart and humor goes a long way to take the sting out of this part of our journey.
Here is one I learned in high school – “My get up and go, got up and left”.
janet savoie says:
#6 and #12 are great. He reminds me of the late, great George Burns!!
Ron Crane says:
Everything in moderation, including moderation!
Ron
Gulhan says:
Love the Rabbit analogy & #9 resonated with me 😉
Al says:
#3…hahahhahahaaa
Also,
“Growing old: It ain’t for sissies.”
“Too bad youth is wasted on the young.”