The Merrill Dubrow Blog

Like most of you I get tons of emails daily. Some emails are just supposed to be funny while others are actually really funny. This email from my 80 year old Uncle J gave me a chuckle so I thought I would share it:

As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized:

• At my age, I don’t really give a rat’s XXXXXX anymore.
• If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal
• A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water but is still fat
• A rabbit runs and hops but only lives 15 years while a tortoise doesn’t run and mostly does nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.
• And you tell me to exercise?? I don’t think so.

Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to remember the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I’m older, here’s what I have discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it
2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran
3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart
4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
5. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
6. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it ?
7. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.
8. Some days you’re the top dog, some days you’re the hydrant, the early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
9. I wish the buck really did stop here, I sure could use a few of them
10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids
12. It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere
13. The world only beats a path to your door when you’re in the bathroom.
14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he’d have put them on my knees
15. When I’m finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess
16. It’s not hard to meet expenses ….. they’re everywhere
17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I’m “here after”.
19. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
20. HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE????

How is that for some funny observations?!

I’m still laughing at #14…and another one, but I’m absent minded so I can’t remember!

• Which one is your favorite?
• Anything you would like to add to the list?

This entry was posted on Monday, June 30th, 2014 at 8:59 am and is filed under General Comments. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.